Not All Who Wander are lost
by HistoryGeek1399
Summary: A/U set after Alex's returns from the Congo and Casey has left the DAs office. Casey is a defence attorney who is representing a young girl accused of killing her police officer step dad. She clashes with Alex who is the prosecutor on the case and as time passes she begins to wonder if it is just professional rivalry or a deeper tension that causes the sparks to fly between them.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N; I own none of the unoriginal characters. This idea came to me whilst walking my dog along the beach, she thinks it's a good idea but what does she know she's just a dog.**

_Katie Thomas is fifteen, she lives on the Upper West side with her mother and step father Detective Vince Thomas. Waking up Friday morning after her mother had left for work, she walked into her parents bedroom and picked up her step fathers service weapon, clicking off the safety the way he had taught her she squeezed the trigger, firing into his sleeping body until the gun ran out of bullets. Putting the gun back on the bedside cabinet and walked back to her bedroom and climbed into her bed pulling the duvet over her, as she drifted off to sleep only to be awoken an hour later by her mothers screams._

Walking into the apartment Detectives Stabler and Benson headed over to the medical examiner Melinda Warner and after exchanging pleasantries they got down to business. "Victim is Vince Thomas a Detective with Vice. Wife came home from work and found him dead he was shoot fifteen times with his own service weapon." Announced Warner pulling the sheet back to reveal their victim.

"Okay, so why call us?" Asked Stabler. The death of a cop wasn't an SVU case so there had to be more to the situation than met the eye.

"The only other person in the apartment was his fifteen year old step daughter, her nightshirt is covered in blood splatter. She keeps saying she was protecting herself that's why I called you guys in."

"Where is she?" asked Liv.

"CSU were just finishing with her in her bedroom. Third door on the left." Replied Warner before turning her attention back to the body.

"You go talk to the girl, I'll take the mother." Suggested Elliott once they were outside the girls door.

Agreeing Liv nodded and headed into the room, seeing a young girl curled into herself looking out of the window she spoke softly, "Hi Katie, my name is Olivia. Can you tell me what happened?"

"I had to protect myself. It was the only way I could sleep." Replied the teen is a small voice.

"What do you mean sweetie? Who did you have to defend yourself from?" Asked Liv.

"Vince. I didn't want him to hurt me anymore." Replied Katie still looking out the window.

"How did he hurt you?" Asked Liv, pulling out her notebook.

"I should get a lawyer that's what Vince always said to do if I ever got in trouble." Replied Katie in a small voice.

"If you were protecting yourself then why would you be in trouble?" Asked Liv.

"Because I'm always in trouble." Replied Katie as her tears started to fall.

After that she didn't respond to anymore of Liv's questions. Sighing Liv walked out of the room and met Elliott in the hall filling him in on the short conversation she had with Katie. "What did you get from the mother?"

"Not a lot she's pretty upset, she came home from work and found him dead. Running in to her daughter's room she found her sound asleep under the covers covered in blood that's when she dialled 911."

Arresting Katie the three made their way to the station after the arrival of Katie's lawyer they began interviewing her. Watching through the mirror ADA Alexandra Cabot listened as the girl explained, that she didn't know what had happened. She was asleep until her mother screamed. No she didn't remember shooting her step father. After an hour she tapped on the window indicating the two detectives should step out of the room. "What do you think?" Asked Alex.

"Sounds like she suffered some sort of episode. We should get Huang to examine her." Offered Liv.

"I think she shot him and is play acting to get herself out of trouble." Said Elliott.

Looking between the two detectives Alex was used to them having different opinions Liv was for the victim until the end where as Elliott was more skeptical relying more on proof than someone's word alone.

"Okay, book her and have Huang examine her before arraignment. I'll talk to her lawyer see if we can come to a deal." Replied Alex collecting her coat and heading back to her office.

After an exhausting morning Alex took her glasses off and through them down on her desk leaning back she pinched the bridge of her nose and willed the headache that was building to go away. Hearing a knock at the door she called a come in seeing Liv she gave a tired smile, "Please tell me you have good news."

"Afraid not. Huang diagnosed a psychotic break after years of sexual and mental abuse."

"Is there any evidence to suggest the allegations are true?" Asked Alex, her open and shut case was becoming more complicated by the minute.

"The mother won't talk to us. There are no police reports but considering Thomas was a detective that's not surprising. Amanda is taking her to Mercy for a rape kit now, we should have the results before arraignment this afternoon."

"Great, keep me in the loop there is a lot of press around this and if the allegations are false I don't want a Detective's memory dragged through the mud for no reason but at the same time I don't want it to look like we're covering for a dirty cop."

"Will do. I'll let you get back to it. We still on for tonight?" Asked Liv referring to their standing arrangement of drinks after work on a Friday providing they weren't swamped by a case.

"Absolutely! I could use a drink or three after the week I've had." As Alex watched Liv leave she was relieved that their friendship was back on track after Alex's return from witness protection and then from her crusade in the Congo. Packing up her briefcase she headed for court.

-  
Casey Novak sipped her coffee as she scanned the headlines in the daily paper sighing at the doom and gloom she decided to finish her coffee whilst watching the world go by from her office window. Hearing a knock at the door she turned and called a quick "Come in." smiling at the sight of her business partner Jane Lomas leaning against the door frame.

After being censured for three years Casey had attempted returning to going back the DA's office but it was impossible to do her job with everyone looking over her shoulder waiting for her to make another mistake and so she had left and joined her friend Jane in private practice. Their firm specialised being advocates for those who needed but couldn't afford good legal representation.

Where as Casey had been a prosecutor Jane had always worked in for the defence which meant they had experience from both sides of the court room making them a formidable team. The two had met when Casey was volunteering at the battered woman shelter during her censure after a brief and ultimately doomed relationship they had settled for being friends and then when Casey wanted to leave the DAs office Jane came up with the idea of them setting up a practice together. She had never once thrown Casey's mistake in her face, second guessed her actions in court or used it as a weapon when they had one of their heated debates.

"So how was last night? Please tell me you at least stayed until dessert this time?" Teased Jane taking a seat opposite Casey's desk.

Jane was always setting Casey up with a friend of hers who was just lovely but strangely single and each time Casey either pulled out at the last-minute or made an excuse to leave after just one drink.

"Last night was probably one of the worst dates of my life!" Replied Casey. "When you said she loved animals I thought you meant had a dog or something, not twelve cats she likes to dress up as Lord of the Rings characters."

"So you wont be seeing her again?" Laughed Jane.

"Nope, you have to stop trying to set me up. I'm happily single. I mean it's not like you're a happily married woman have you ever actually had a second date?" Asked Casey smirking at the blonde.

Ignoring the question she replied. "Fine, but you have to promise you will at least try to get some at least once every other month?" Grinning as her friend blushed she added. "A sexually frustrated lawyer is bad for business when you're the defence."

"Haha! What's on the agenda today?" Asked Casey attempting to turn the conversation to matters of business.

"Nothing too heavy thankfully I mean it is Friday after all." Smirked Jane as she stood to head back to her own office.

Finishing her coffee Casey opened her laptop and began drafting motions and letters for various cases until lunch time. Hearing a commotion in reception she headed out of her office seeing a woman pleading with Maggie their receptionist she headed over.

"Hello, my name is Casey Novak I'm one of the lawyers in this office. Can I help you?"

"My daughter Katie was arrested this morning. They say she shot my husband, I can't afford a lawyer and the one the court appointed wanted her to plead guilty even though she didn't do anything. A friend of mine Angie Dent said you might be able to help."

"Come into my office and start from the beginning." Replied Casey leading the way, showing the woman into her office she knocked on Jane's door and asked her to join them.

"Mrs Thomas, this is my partner Jane Lomas. Would you mind telling us what happens?" Asked Casey in a gentle voice.

"My daughter Katie is fifteen and has been arrested for shooting my husband Vince. She didn't do it she wouldn't do it. Please I need your help."

After an hour getting all the information Casey and Jane promised to help and arranged to meet Valerie at the court-house, Jane showed her out before coming back into Casey's office seeing her colleague who was already making notes on a legal pad and placing the calls needed to get their appointments rearranged.

Once Casey had hung up the phone Jane studied her friend. Feeling the scrutiny Casey looked up, "What. Do I have something on my face?"

"SVU that was your unit wasn't it? You sure you want to take this case? I could alway handle the face to face stuff if you want."

"No it's fine, it might be cathartic to face them. Besides, Alexandra Cabot is like a polar ice cap on two feet. I'd hate for you to get frost bite."

"This is going to be fun." Smirked Jane as the two headed for Casey's car to drive to court for arraignment.

Arriving at the court-house they waited until Katie's case was called seeing Alex Cabot waiting at the bench Casey briefly lost her train of thought at the sight of the beautiful blonde in a knee-length black skirt, white blouse and matching jacket the glasses completing the look. Feeling Jane nudge her she shook her head and stepped up to the table and in announced, "Casey Novak for the defence."

Hearing Casey's name Alex looked up from the papers she was intently studying, she had heard Casey had gone into private practice after leaving the DA's office but she didn't realise she had become a defence attorney. Looking over at the red-head she was struck by how beautiful Casey's eyes were. She was so caught up in staring at Casey it took the judge two attempts to get her attention.

"Miss Cabot, if you could stop day dreaming we can get started. The people on bail?"

"My apologies your honour, the people request remand the defendant shot her step father a decorated Detective, as he slept and then calmly returned to her own bed and went back to sleep."

"Your honour she is a fifteen year old child whose family have lived on the same block since she was born. She poses no flight risk, she doesn't hold a passport and has no resources of her own." Argued Casey.

After a few minutes the judge set bail at a reasonable amount before calling a recess. Packing up her papers Casey sensed Alex looking at her, "Can I help you with something councillor?"

"I never had you down as a defence lawyer." Replied Alex tilting her head to the side to study the redhead.

"There's a lot you don't know about me _Alexandra_. " Smiled Casey.

Giving Casey an icy look Alex said, "Call me Monday and maybe we can work out a plea." With that she walked out of the court room leaving Casey to alone on the courtroom confused at the butterfly's in her stomach.


	2. Chapter 2

After leaving the court-house Alex decided not to go back to the office knowing she would end up being buried under paper work and so instead headed to the bar to meet Liv for Friday night drinks. When she arrived she saw Liv had already arrived giving her a wave she went to the bar and got a round of drinks beer for Liv and white wine for herself before joining Liv at the table.

"Hi, how did the Thomas arraignment go?" Asked Liv as she excepted the beer Alex had brought her.

"It was interesting." Replied Alex taking a sip of her wine.

"Interesting? Did you get arrested for contempt again?" Smirked Liv.

"No Olivia I didn't. I was referring to her choice of defence counsel. Did you know Casey Novak is a defence lawyer now?"

"No, I mean I heard she had gone into private practice after leaving the DA's office but I never expected her to be on that side of the court room. I feel bad I always meant to stay in touch with her despite our rocky start I actually liked her she reminded me of you." Replied Liv.

"Really?" Asked Alex not looking impressed.

"She's smart, driven and fond of bending the rules. Not to mention sassy and able to keep Elliott in line."

"Bending them? She disregarded them completely." Replied Alex, the one time she had met Casey before her censure had been when she prosecuted Liam Conners the man who had shot Alex. She had to admit despite the stress of the situations she had noticed how beautiful the redhead was and how capable she was in the courtroom. Coming back and finding out Casey had been censured for a Brady violation she had been shocked and disappointed they wouldn't get to work together. Her musing were interrupted when Liv began speaking again.

"Come on Al, you broke them a few times yourself. You of all people should understand SVU cases are never black and white."

"Maybe. So you were friends?" Asked Alex.

"Yeah, not at first but over time we became closer. I was sad when she disappeared after being censured. You ADAs have a habit of disappearing on me." Smiled Liv letting Alex know she teasing.

They spent the next hour discussing various things and enjoying each other's company when Liv noticed Casey and a pretty petite blonde woman enter the bar. The two were engaged in lively conversation. Pointing them out to Alex she said, "We should go say hi."

"Must we?" Asked Alex with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes, now come on Cabot look lively."

-  
Leaving the court-house Casey and Jane walked Valerie through posting bail and arranged for her and Katie to stay in a motel for a few days. Once they had settled the two women in they decided to head for a bar and relax. Seeing Alex and Liv sitting at a table in the corner Casey was all for leaving but Jane insisted they stayed and went to the bar ordering their drinks before heading over to a vacant table.

Looking up Casey smiled when she saw Liv and a reluctant Alex heading their way. "Hi Liv it's good to see you. Alex." Smiled Casey. "This is my business partner Jane Lomas. Jane this is Alexandra Cabot I'm sure you remember her from court this afternoon and Detective Olivia Benson from the Special Victims Unit."

Giving Alex a polite smile Jane focused her attention on Liv. "Well hello _Detective_, tell me do you have to carry your cuffs at all times?" Flirted Jane giving Liv a wink and a smile.

Grinning back Liv replied. "Not always but for you I could make an exception."

"Care to tell me more about that at the bar? There's a drink in it for you." Replied Jane in a sultry tine.

"Lead on." Sending a wink at the two Attorneys Liv followed Jane to the bar.

Looking up at Alex who was glaring at Liv's retreating back Casey said,"Would you like to join me? If I know Jane we won't be getting Liv back for a while. In fact we might need to call in Swat for a rescue mission."

Smiling Alex sat down, "I think Liv can take care of herself." The two were soon engaged in small talk chatting about mutual acquaintances, Alex's time in the Congo and laughing at Liv and Jane who had migrated to the dance floor.

"It's a good job you're a defence lawyer if they dance any closer they're likely to get arrested for public indecency." Quipped Alex with a smile.

Laughing Casey agreed, "As you would be the ADA on the case I'm sure we could arrange a deal."

"I don't know, Liv is always teasing me about my brief time in the cells for contempt it might be nice to have something to hold over her."

After an hour the foursome decided to head their separate ways after Liv and Jane exchanged numbers and several kisses.

Monday morning Casey and Jane were sharing a coffee and going over their paperwork for their motion hearing later that morning. "So what's the story with you and the Ice Queen? I saw you checking her out." Smirked Jane.

"There's not much to tell and I wasn't checking her out." Replied Casey staring into her coffee cup. "Besides I'm surprised you noticed anything other than Liv's cleavage."

"She is delicious isn't she." Smirked Jane. "Come on Novak spill it." Before adding in a gentler voice. "Get it out of your system, Katie needs us and you can't be distracted."

Snapping her head up Casey asked. "Are you saying I'll let her down?"

Holding her hands up Jane replied "No! Of course not. Going up against your old squad is going to be hard for you. I just want you to know I'm here for you if you need to vent."

"When I first started at SVU everyone compared me to Alex and I always came up short and then gradually I proved my worth. When she came back to testify in the Conner's trial I was so sure I would hate her but there was a moment when she let her guard down and I saw just how hard it was for her being away from her family, her friends, her life. For a moment all I wanted to do was kiss her in fact had Liv not knocked on the door I might have."

Standing up Casey walked to the window, "When she left without saying goodbye I was actually disappointed I wouldn't get to see her again. Then when I returned to the DA's office she was so cold with me I thought I must have imagined the connection and now I know I don't stand a chance."

"Why?" Asked Jane with a frown. "She seemed friendly in the bar and she was defiantly checking you out in the court room."

"I'm damaged goods! She has ambitions to be the District Attorney and I'm the ADA who got censured for lying to a judge."

"Casey, you have to stop blaming yourself and thinking that. Hell I don't think I would have had the courage to put my licence on the line to get the bad guys."

"I was stupid not brave." Replied Casey, before shaking her head and putting on a false smile. "Anyway enough about me. Let's focus on Katie's case."

Knowing she would get little out else out of her friend Jane agreed and the two-headed towards the court-house for the motions hearing.

"Why did it have to be Judge Donnelly?" Asked Casey rhetorically as she paced the corridor seeing the confused expression on Jane's face she clarified. "She was my boss when I committed career suicide."

"Ah I see, you want to ask for a different Judge?"

Considering Jane's suggestion Casey shook her head no and continued her pacing until she saw Alex step off the elevator. Alex was wearing a blue skirt and jacket with a high collared white blouse. Her beautiful blue eyes framed by her glasses, giving Alex a tentative smile she went and sat next to Jane trying to act confident. Hearing Jane give a soft snigger at her behaviour she whispered, "Behave or I'm telling Liv about New Orleans."

"You wouldn't?" Replied Jane with an overly dramatic and to the heart.

Smiling at her friend she whispered "Try me."

Heading into chambers Casey took a deep breath giving Judge Donnelly a small smile as she took her seat. As they began going through various motions it came to the matter of a shop lifting charge on Katie's record that Casey wanted excluded after arguing their point back and forth the Judge sided with Casey.

"Anything else?" Asked Donnelley.

"Just one thing your honour, the conversation between Detective Benson and Katie at the house shouldn't be allowed in Katie is only fifteen and the detective questioned her with out a parent or advocate present." Replied Casey.

"Oh come on. The Detective's weren't questioning her as a suspect but as a possible victim therefore they didn't need an adult present. Maybe Miss Novak has forgotten how the law works."

"Excuse me?" Asked Casey.

"I'm just saying your more comfortable lying to a judge than doing the work."

"Really, you know what I did make a mistake but I paid for it. Hell I'm still paying for it, but then maybe if my surname had been Cabot I would have only been suspended not censured. How is Sam Cavanaugh?" Asked Casey.

Before Alex could answer Donnelly yelled, "Enough both of you! The conversation is out Casey is right she was too young to understand what was going on. Now I suggest before trial you deal with this hostility I won't have my court room being used to settle old rivalries. Now if there is nothing else I suggest you leave before I find you both in contempt and have you thrown in jail."

Leaving the judge's office Alex walked back to her office she was beyond angry with Casey actually she mused as she walked into her office she was angry with herself. There had been no reason to say that to Casey. She was such an ass, pacing her office she kept replying the moment in Casey's office as they prepped for the Conners trial she was sure Casey was going to kiss her. She was disappointed when she didn't and Friday night in the bar she found herself enjoying the redheads company. Running her hands through her hair she grabbed her briefcase and headed to Casey's office she needed to apologise.

That afternoon Casey was supposed to be working on motions in her office but she was still too angry to properly focus. She was relieved when she heard a knock at her door calling out a 'come in' she had just put her pen down when her visitor came in. Looking up she was surprised to see Alex nervously standing in the door way.

"What can I do for you Alexandra?" Snapped Casey in no mood to deal with anymore of Alex's venom.

"I wanted to apologise for what I said this morning. I was out of line. I'm sorry Casey at one point I hoped we could be friends."

"Really you have a funny way of showing it! Everyone thinks what I did is so awful and it was wrong I know it was wrong but no one has ever asked why I did it? Why I ruined my career and everything I had worked for?"

"Why did you?" Asked Alex in a soft voice.

"Does it matter? I did and it's over now." Replied Casey in no mood to bear her soul. "You can leave now."

"I came all the way over here in the middle of the day to apologise. The least you can so is accept it and try to put it behind us."

Standing up Casey walked towards the window as was her custom when she was having a bad day taking a breath she tried to calm her temper. "So I'm meant to thank you for coming to apologise and forget you were a complete bitch? Fine you're forgiven. Happy now?"

"I don't know why I bothered." Replied Alex.

"Neither do I. Who would have guessed the Ice Queen has feelings?" Snarked Casey.

Walking over to where Casey stood "How dare you?" Demanded Alex. "I wanted to apologise and I hoped maybe we could be friends. I should have..." She was cut off as Casey crushed their mouths together in a hard kiss.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N; Sexy times ahead.**

Feeling Casey's lips on hers Alex moaned and deepened the kiss tangling her hand in Casey's hair pulling the other woman closer against her.

Feeling Alex pull her closer Casey moaned and broke the kiss resting their foreheads together they were both breathing heavily. There was a beat of silence in which neither moved before Alex claimed Casey's lips in another hard kiss moaning into Casey's mouth as she felt the redhead slide her hands up and start unbuttoning the shirt she was wearing. When air became necessary Casey pulled back slightly checking for any trace of hesitance in Alex's blue eyes finding none she began placing kisses along the blondes jaw and down her throat biting down on her pulse point just enough to leave a small mark.

Feeling Casey mouth on her throat Alex let out a loud moan of pleasure and began tugging at the redheads shirt yanking it so hard the buttons popped off leaving Casey's silk covered chest exposed to Alex's gaze. Liking her lips she trailed her fingertips over the milky skin and pinched the stiff buds between her finger and thumb causing Casey to hiss and arch into Alex's body.

Pushing Alex back against her desk Casey dragged the cups of her bra down and took a nipple in her mouth whilst her hands ran up stocking covered legs to push the blonds skirt up. As Alex wrapped her legs around Casey's waist the redheads fingers grazed across the thin material of Alex's soaked thong.

Gasping at the light contact against her aching centre, "Touch me." husked Alex.

Slipping the thin material aside Casey dragged her fingers through the wetness brushing her finger tips over the blondes clit before entering Alex with two fingers causing the blonde to moan out loud and arch up off the desk. Increasing the speed of her fingers Casey watched as the blonde came undone cumming hard panting Casey's name.

"Oh God!" Moaned Alex as she watched Casey drop to her knees and spread her legs, biting down on her lip as she watched Casey's head disappear beneath her skirt she gasped as she felt Casey's tongue gliding through her wet folds.

Moaning at the taste of the blondes arousal Casey could feel her own arousal peak as Alex reached her second orgasm.

Standing up she pulled the panting blonde towards her and claimed her mouth in another hard kiss moaning as the blonde swapped their positions and it was Casey laying across her desk with Alex's hands traveling under her skirt brushing the damp material covering her aching centre.

Feeling the wetness coating the redheads thighs Alex pulled Casey's panties aside and roughly entered her curling her fingers it took only a few thrusts for Casey to cum biting down on Alex's pulse point to stop her screaming out the blondes name.

Just as she drew Alex in for another kiss her office door banged open to reveal Jane, "Hey Case, have you seen...whoa...I'll just...leave..."

"Jane get out!" Yelled Casey.

Looking at the blonde who was wide eyes clutching her shirt closed across her chest, "Alex?"

Without saying anything Alex began searching for her clothes that had ended up scattered across the office, she avoided making eye contact with Casey as she got dressed. Picking up her shoes and jacket she headed for the door, "I should go. I'm sorry."

"Alex wait." Called Casey. "We should at least talk about this."

"It was a mistake, it never happened." Replied Alex as she fled through the door leaving Casey alone and confused in her office.

Running a hand through her hair she finished dressing and straightened the papers on her desk that had been disturbed in their what? You couldn't really call it lovemaking it wasn't gentle enough for that. Sex there was too much emotion for that so what was it? These were the questions Casey was pondering when their was a knock at her door and Jane came waltzing back in a grin plastered across her face.

"Jeez Novak! There was me thinking you were Vanilla and you're in here having hot steamy office sex with a sexy blonde."

"Vanilla? Really? I don't remember you complaining." Smirked Casey as she though about their brief but passionate relationship.

"Heaven forbid. Where's safe to sit?" Asked Jane with a raised eyebrow.

"Just avoid the desk and you'll be fine." Laughed Casey.

"So, you two make up?" Asked Jane, studying her friend she had seen how much Alex's comment had hurt her that morning despite Casey's attempts at hiding it.

"I'm not sure what happened. One minute we were talking the next I had her pinned to the wall hands everywhere." Banging her head on her desk Casey moaned, "What a mess. You think I should call her?"

"That depends, do you want to date her or was it just an angry fuck over the desk?" Asked Jane in her normal blunt way.

"I...I like her." Admitted Casey quietly.

"Then call her. I should get on I have a hot date tonight with one of New Yorks finest." Grinned Jane as she stood up.

"Hang on what did you want when you barged in earlier?" Asked Casey.

"Oh the Skye file." Looking at Casey desk she gave a wicked grin. "Oh look here it is. It was under your ass the entire time."

"Haha so funny! Have fun tonight and behave yourself. Liv is an amazing woman don't hurt her."

"She's the one with the cuffs." Smirked Jane as she left the room, poking her head back around the door she added. "Oh and Casey you might want to change your shirt that one only has two buttons left on it."

Pulling on the spare shirt she kept in her office Casey debated calling Alex she didn't want to seem stalkerish but on the other hand she didn't want Alex to think it meant nothing to her. Pulling out her cell phone she tried the blonde not surprised when it went through to voicemail.

"Alex, when you get this please call me back. Maybe we could meet for a coffee or a drink I don't want to pretend nothing happened." Throwing her phone down onto her desk she turned her attention to the folders on her desk and tried to set her mind to matters of work until she heard Maggie and Jane leaving for the night. Throwing her pen down she picked up her gym bag and headed for the gym hoping a good work out would stop her thinking about the blonde.

After leaving Casey's office Alex headed straight for the precinct hoping Liv would be at her desk and could nip away for a few minutes to talk. Walking into the station Alex went over to Liv's desk, seeing the detective lost in thought she had to call her name twice before she got her attention. Worried something was wrong with her friend she asked. "Liv? You okay?"

Looking up at the blonde Liv gave a smirk."Hello...Tiger." Laughing as Alex blushed.

"How do you know?" Hissed Alex looking around to make sure none of the other detectives heard what the two were saying.

"Jane..."

"The blonde...oh God!" Groaned Alex slumping down in Elliott's desk chair.

Looking at her friend Liv could see something was troubling her. "You have time for a coffee?" Seeing the blonde nod they headed out of the precinct and headed to the coffee shop opposite the station.

After their coffees had arrived they sat in silence for a few minutes until Liv spoke. "Want to tell me what happened? Other than the hot and heavy sex over the desk?"

Blushing Alex took a sip of coffee getting her thoughts in order before answering Liv's question. "I was awful to her in Donnelley's chambers I made some wise ass remark about her censure because she was wiping the floor with me and we got into it. Despite the fact she more than held her own I could see how much my comment hurt her and so I went to apologise. One minute we were talking the next we were kissing and...well you know." Finished Alex with a shrug.

"Okay...how was it?" Asked Liv causing Alex to laugh and blush again.

"Hot and steamy about covers it. I kind of ran out without talking to her. She called me and left a message saying she wants to talk. I don't know what to do."

"Do you like her?" Asked Liv.

"I'm attracted to her certainly but I don't know her as a person to say if I want to date her or not. When I came back for the Conners trial she was so sweet and confident and I was attracted to her then. Once I found out she had been censured I guess I judged her on it I never even bothered to ask why she did it and now? Now I'm just confused."

"Then get to know her. Maybe we can all go for a drink Friday night, nice and causal?" Offered Liv.

"Maybe. I don't know especially with the Thomas case looming. It wouldn't be right to be dating the defence."

"That's crap and you know it! Get to know her as a friend and by the time the trial is over you will know if you want to date her." Replied Liv.

"Okay, Friday night sounds good." Agreed Alex. "So you and Jane?"

Grinning Liv replied "We have a date tonight, dinner and dancing. I can't wait."

Finishing their coffee the two parted ways, "Liv? Have fun tonight and behave." Smirked Alex.

Heading back to her office Alex tried to focused on work but her mind kept replaying Casey's kisses, her touch, her taste. Throwing down her pen after having read the same line half a dozen times she picked up her gym bag and headed for the gym hoping a work out would help focus her mind on anything other than the way Casey's touch had made her feel.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N; Warning for Alex Cabot pole dancing. Tripperz and iTrick1984 you might need to turn the AC up ;-).**

Arriving at the gym Casey's mind was still preoccupied with the blonde after getting changed she checked her phone, seeing the blonde still hadn't replied she threw her phone and bag with slightly more force than necessary and threw it in her locker. Picking up her bottle of water she was so preoccupied she failed to notice the blonde who had been haunting her thoughts had just walked in.

After warming up and stretching, Casey put in her earphones as she headed for the treadmill turning up the volume on her iPod up to the maximum as the first strains of 'Blondie's one way or another' bleared through she started to run increasing the speed after five minutes until all she was focused on was the beat of the music and the pounding of her feet.

After forty minutes she slowed down to a walk, reached for her water taking several swigs she turned her music down. Realising the gym was almost empty she spent half and hour on the rowing machine and then stretching out before heading back to the changing room. Half way along the corridor she heard the unmistakable beat of Beyoncé deciding to see what was going on she pushed open the door and had to blink several times before she could fully appreciate the sight of Alexandra Cabot in tiny shorts and a sorts bra pole dancing.

-  
After heading across town Alex arrived at the gym Serena had recommended it wasn't her normal gym but it had good pole dancing facilities. She had stumbled across pole dancing as an exercise two years ago and was instantly hooked, she loved that she could dance and it gave her a good work out as well as making her feel sexy. Arriving in the locker room Alex quickly changed into her work out clothes, picking up her iPod and water she headed to the private room she had booked.

Plugging in her iPod in she selected a playlist of upbeat songs she slipped off her yoga pants and stretched out her muscles, starting with some easy workouts moves before moving on to more intense move as she warmed up. As the first notes of Beyonce's 'Work it out' bleared through the speakers, she forgot about everything else and grasped the pole and span upside down, sliding down onto the floor and rolling on to her shoulders using her legs to pull her back up before spinning around the pole several times. Flipping upside down so she was gripping the pole solely with her legs she extended her body out, held the position for a beat before reaching up and grasping the pole with her hands and spinning around the pole coming to rest upside down again.

As the song ended she heard clapping looking up she saw a wide-eyed Casey Novak staring at her. "Novak! What the hell?" Asked Alex sliding down the pole and grabbing her jumper to cover her sports bra covered chest.

"So it's not just words you can bend." Replied Casey with a raised eyebrows and a smirk.

"Funny. How did you get in here I locked the door." Snapped Alex embarrassed at being caught pole dancing by the person she was fantasising about watching her dance.

"It wasn't locked." Replied Casey, flicking the lock. "Now it is." Walking towards the blonde she asked. "How about an encore?"

"No chance." Snorted Alex.

Pulling herself up on the pole and spinning around Casey added, "I'll show you mine if you show me yours?"

"You can pole dance?" Asked Alex attempting to push down the images of Casey in hot pants and bikini top.

"Well no." Smirked Casey, "But I figure a pole dance is what fifty bucks? And as you ripped all the buttons of a fifty dollar shirt this afternoon this makes us even."

"Considering the show you just witnessed I'd say you owe me." Replied Alex turning her back to pick up her water.

"And what a show it was, who knew Alexandra Cabot was a sex kitten with Las Vagas stripper moves." Smirked Casey as she walked towards Alex. Pressing the blonde back against the wall she leaned in until their faces were less than an inch apart.

"We have to stop doing this." Mumbled Alex as she crushed her lips against Casey's. Moaning as she felt Casey lean against her the feeling of their sweat slicked skin pressed together increasing her arousal.

Kissing along Casey's throat she moaned at the taste of sweat on Casey's skin, claiming the younger woman's lips in another kiss she hissed as she felt Casey's nails scrape across her torso and lift her bra over her head.

"So beautiful." Mumbled Casey before running her tongue over a stiff nipple and kissing across to the other dragging her teeth over it hard enough for Alex to moan before she soothed it with her tongue.

"Oh God!" Moaned Alex as she tugged at Casey's shirt lifting it over her head at the same time as her bra. Tracing her fingertips over the redheads nipples smirking as they hardened under her touch.

Before she could do anything else she felt Casey lift her up, wrapping her legs around the redhead she lost all sense of reason as Casey kissed and sucked on her throat before biting down on her pulse point. Grinding against Casey to try again gain some relief from the heat that was building in the bottom of her stomach.

Setting Alex down on the mat Casey slid her shorts down groaning when she saw the blondes arousal showing through her lacy panties. "So damn sexy." Whispered Casey as she trailed her fingers through the blondes wetness brushing the tips of her fingers lightly over Alex's clit causing her to moan and arch her back.

Sliding her own shorts off Casey found herself roughly pushed back against the wall as Alex dropped to her knee's and lifted one of Casey's legs over her shoulder sliding her tongue through the redheads sodden folds. Moaning at the taste of the redhead she flicked her tongue over Casey's hard clit before sucking it into her mouth, feeling her Casey tangle her fingers in her hair and pull her closer Alex gave a moan, feeling the vibrations on her sensitive bundle of nerves Casey cried out, "Oh Alex, more please. I need more."

As she entered Casey with three fingers she heard the woman above her to cry out in pleasure and start pulling harder on her hair. Knowing Casey wasn't going to last much longer Alex increased her pace causing Casey to cum screaming her name. Panting Casey pulled Alex to her feet and pressed a kiss Alex's mouth moaning at the taste of herself on the blondes lips.

Swapping their positions so it was Alex against pressed against the wall, pinning Alex's hands above her head with one of her own, Casey slid her hand over Alex's hard nipples pinching them between her finger tips causing Alex to buck her hips. Sliding her hand lower she pulled one of Alex's long legs around her waist she slide two fingers inside of her thrusting hard, using her thumb to circle her hard clit it took just minute's for Alex to cum. Kissing Alex hard on the mouth to swallow the blondes moans.

Kissing her way down Alex's stomach and thighs she moaned the scent of her love arousal causing own centre to throb again. Lifting one of Alex's legs over her shoulders she ran her tongue through her lovers wet folds, moaning at the taste, she repeated the motion several times, before lightly running her teeth over Alex's sensitive clit before sucking it into her mouth."Oh God!" Moaned Alex as Casey began to work her clit with her tongue. Feeling Alex's legs start to shake Casey knew she wouldn't last much longer and so entered her with two fingers scissoring them until Alex came. Slumping down on the floor next to a panting Casey, leaning against the other woman as they both tried to regain their breathing.

Once they had regained their breathing they stood and silently started getting dressed, "We can't date it would be a conflict of interests." Said Alex braking the silence.

"I know, we could at least try being friends though." Replied Casey turning to study the blonde before adding. "When you came back for the Conners trial, I wanted to get to know you and then when you came back from the Congo you were so cold toward me it left me confused."

Sitting down next to Casey she took a swig of her water before answering. "I was wrong, I judged you on the gossip. I'm sorry Casey."

"It's okay. How about we start fresh?" Asked Casey not wanting to dwell on the past.

"I'd like that. We have to stop the sex though." Replied Alex with a sad smile.

"For now, then once the trial is over and I win you take me out on a date to celebrate and who knows maybe we create something special." Smiled Casey.

"You're very sure of yourself Novak." Replied Alex as she got to her feet and held her hand out to help Casey to her feet.

"It's not like you can resist me." Replied Casey with a wink as the two exited the room and headed towards the locker room.


	5. Chapter 5

After leaving the gym the two had gone their separate ways promising to meet up for drinks Friday night with Liv and Jane. As Alex arrived home she unpacked her groceries and popped some pasta onto cook as she waited for the water to boil she resisted the urge to text Casey. She was attracted to Casey there was something that drew her to the redhead that made her want to tell Casey her secrets. She wanted to find out every thing about Casey, about her childhood, why she wanted to be a lawyer, what she did on rainy Sundays, which bit of the paper she read first and what made her risk it all for one case. Pouring the sauce over the pasta she sat at the breakfast bar and found herself looking forward to Friday and spending time with Casey.

-  
Arriving home Casey flopped down on the sofa with a bottle of smart water and switched on sports centre as she relaxed her mind drifted to Alex, she was attracted to the blonde but it went deeper than that. She wanted to get to know her, find out what it was that made her tick and what it was that made her smile. She was looking forward to Friday evening although she mused she would have to warn Jane to behave or who knows what she would come out with. Resisting the urge to text Alex she decided to make some dinner and get an early night knowing it was going to be a long week.

Heading into work the following morning Casey stopped off to get coffee for her Jane and Maggie as she was standing in line she saw a familiar blonde walk in, pulling out her phone she quickly typed out a message,**_ 'What's your poison this morning? I'm almost at the front of the line I'll order for you. Xx'_**

As she stepped up to the counter she placed her order and saw Alex had replied, '_**A skinny latte and a blueberry muffin to go. Thank ' **_adding Alex's order to her own she headed down to the collection point and was soon joined by the blonde.

"Good morning Casey." Smiled Alex. "You look lovely this morning."

"Hey, you look beautiful as always." Flirted Casey. "What are you doing in this neck of the woods?" Asked Casey aware she was grinning like a fool at the sight of the blonde.

"My dentist is just around the corner." Excepting the muffin from Casey she went on. "How much do I owe you."

"My treat. Seeing your beautiful face has made my day." Winked Casey as she handed Alex her coffee and they stepped outside into the sunshine.

"Thank you Casey. I'll see you Friday night." Replied Alex pecking Casey on the cheek and walking away.

As she watched Alex walk away Casey felt her phone ping alerting her to the fact she had a new message grinning when she saw it was from Alex, **_'Stop staring at my ass Novak. Xx'_**

Replying **'If I must. :-( x'** she put her phone in her purse and headed to the office. Walking into Jane's office holding a cup of coffee out to the blonde she asked, "So how was your hot date with the Delicious Detective Benson?"

"It was amazing. God that woman is sexy. How did you work with her for all those years and never tap that?"

Grinning at her friend Casey raised and eyebrow, "Tap that? Really? When did you get ghetto?"

Smirking Jane poked her tongue out at Casey. "Seriously though she is divine, where you never tempted?"

Considering the question Casey thought back to all the time she had spent with Liv, "No I prefer blondes and so it would seem Liv does. Like I said we didn't get on at first but we came to be good friends. I know I hurt her when I just left. It I couldn't face them after losing my licence I just wanted to run away and hide from the world. I will say though Liv is one of the best detectives I've ever seen she is caring, passionate and dedicated. As a person, as a friend there is none better."

tilting her head to study her friend "Is this your way of warning me not to hurt her? I really like her there is something about her that makes me go all weak at the knees."

"Good, right to business. Katie is coming over later so we can start preparing her defence, I'm still hoping Alex will cut her a deal."

"What time? Are you okay to take the lead?" Asked Jane knowing Casey had the experience to connect with Katie better than she could.

"Anytime now. You sure you don't mind me taking charge?" Asked Casey.

"Not in the slightest. Buzz me when they arrive." Nodding Casey headed back to her office to start looking through the statement Katie made when she was first arrested. She wanted to familiarise herself with it so she could pick up on any differences. After an hour Maggie buzzed her to let her know Katie and her mom had arrived and Casey went to greet them.

"Hi Katie, Valerie how are you both?"

"Okay, thank you Miss Novak." Replied Valerie whilst Katie kept her gaze on the floor.

"Please call me Casey. Now today we need to go through Katie's testimony and because there is a good chance you will be called as a witness you will have to wait out here." Giving her most reassuring smile she added. "If at anytime Katie needs you we will come and get you."

Meeting Jane at her office door the three-headed into Casey office and once they were settled Casey looked at Jane before addressing the young girl who had yet to make eye contact. "Katie, I need you to tell us what happened? Can you do that for me?" Asked Casey in a gentle voice.

"Do I have to tell you?" Asked Katie in a small voice.

"I'm afraid so. Sweetie, we are on your side. You can trust us I promise." Said Casey smiling as Katie made eye contact for the first time.

"Okay, what do you want to know?" Asked Katie.

As Jane watched Casey talking with Katie she was amazed at her depth of the redheads empathy and understanding making sure to ask the questions that needed asking but seeming to know when Katie need a break with out the girl actually needing to ask. After four hours they were finished and Jane showed Katie out whilst Casey read through her notes and planned to call Alex and discuss a plea.

Looking up as Jane came in she could see the sadness and anger in her friends eyes. "You okay?"

"No, how did you do that every day?" Asked Jane as she slumped in the seat opposite Casey's desk.

"I'm not sure." Replied Casey watching as Jane got out of the seat and started to pace, knowing the best way to get Jane to talk was to give her time to rant.

"That poor girl he abused her for years and the mother either didn't notice or didn't care and now she could go to jail for defending herself. If it was up to me I would give her a damn medal."

"Jane, we will do everything we can to keep her out of jail. We can talk to Cabot and see if we can arrange a deal. If I was the ADA I would have Huang examine her and then either hospitalisation or sign it off as self-defence." Replied Casey.

"What's our plan?" Asked Jane sitting back down.

"We arrange a meeting between us and the Cabot after she's read the statement and the doctors reports that support her statement and go from there. First how about lunch?" Seeing Jane nod the two headed for lunch.

Walking into her office that afternoon Alex wasn't surprised to see Casey had left a message wanting to discuss a deal. Reading through Casey's statement and attached evidence she wasn't willing to deal there were too many unanswered questions and things that didn't add up. Hearing a knock on the door she called a 'Come in.' And smiled when she saw it was Liv her smile widening when she noticed the Detective had brought proper coffee.

"Hi, I come bearing gifts." Smiled Liv as she sat down opposite Alex handing her the coffee.

"What have you done?" Asked Alex eyebrow raised.

"Nothing!" Replied Liv.

"What did Stabler do?" Asked Alex.

"So suspicious, can't I just bring you a coffee and call in for a chat?" Asked Liv giving Alex an innocent look.

"You could, but in all the years we have worked together you never have." Smiled Alex.

"Fine, I wanted some advice. It's personal not professional." Admitted Liv.

"Ohhh is it about Jane?" Smirked Alex.

"Maybe. We had an amazing date last night and I really like her..."

"But?" Prompted Alex knowing there was something troubling Liv.

"I've never done serious before generally it's one date a fun night and then nothing but with Jane I want to take it slow and get to know her. It frightens me."

"Liv, you deserve to be happy, you spend your life fighting for those who can't fight for themselves and dealing with the darkest things people do to each other. If she makes you happy then I say go for it."

"Thank's Alex you've always been good at giving advice. How are things with you and Casey?" Seeing the deep blush that spread across Alex's face at the mention of Casey's name she guessed something else had happened between the two. "Spill it councillor?"

"I went to the gym last night and ran into her we talked and decided to try to be friends and then once the Thomas trial is over maybe go on a date."

"You just talked?" Asked Liv eyebrow raised.

Blushing Alex gave Liv a grin "We may have engaged in other activities although I plead the fifth on what those activities were." Spending half an hour teasing each other Liv headed back to the station and Alex sent Casey an email arranging a meeting with her for the Thomas case the following afternoon.

Arriving at the DA's office the following afternoon Casey could feel her heart hammering in her chest at being back. Waiting in the conference room she could see Katie was nervous giving her a reassuring smile she looked up when Alex came in.

"Hi, thank you for coming." Said Alex as she put the folders down on the table.

"Thank you for agreeing to the meeting." Replied a Jane watching as Casey checked Alex out, kicking her underneath the table she saw Casey shake her head slightly as if to clear it.

"I read your statement Miss Thomas and I have to say it's very convincing." Began Alex.

"So your willing to discuss a deal?" Asked Casey.

"Man two, fifteen to twenty." Offered Alex.

"Come on Alex it was self defence. She needs help not prison." Replied Casey.

"She shot a Police Officer with his own gun and then went back to sleep. Eight to twelve."

"We will discuss it with our client but I'm sure she will won't take it. See you in court." Replied Jane as the three stood. Leaving the DA's office Casey and Jane explained everything to Katie and Valerie before formally turning down the deal.

After a busy week all four women were looking forward to relaxing over a few drinks Friday evening. Casey and Jane were the first to arrive at the bar and were halfway through their first drinks when Liv and Alex arrived. After an hour of lively conversation, Jane stood up and held her hand put to Liv. "Come on Benson walk me to the bar, if you're a good girl I'll let you hold my hand."

"What if I want to be a bad girl?" Teased Liv as she stood and collected the empty glasses.

"Well then detective I'll let you walk me home and make me breakfast." Smirked Jane.

"Get a room!" Called Casey making gagging sounds as the two walked away.

"Better than a desk." Grinned Jane.

"Or the wall of the gym." Quipped Liv watching the two women to blush.

"Gym wall?" Asked Jane.

"I'll tell you all about it on the way to the bar." Smiled Liv winking at a glaring Alex.

"Oh god if she tells Jane I'll never hear the end of it." Groaned Casey.

"The worrying thing is I didn't tell her what happened." Replied Alex looking worried. "There wasn't CCTV in the gym was there?"

"I hope not. Although I wouldn't mind the tape of you pole dancing." Smirked Casey.

"You are such a pervert Novak." Laughed Alex as the other two women rejoined them and they spent the rest of the evening relaxing and getting to know each other in good company.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N. i was thinking of adding in details from the trial and allowing you guys to decide innocent or guilty? I wrote this on my phone whilst up a tree so I hope it's okay, I will go back through it and edit it at a later date.

Saturday morning Casey was woken up by somebody knocking on her door, groaning she climbed out of bed and pulled a jumper over her tank top as she headed to open the door. Looking through the peephole she was surprised to see Liv on the other side. Opening the door she greeted the detective with a confused expression, "Liv? Is everything okay? Is it Jane?"

Holding up the tray of coffees and Danish pastries she had brought with her she smiled, "Good morning to you sunshine. Every thing is fine I just wanted to catch up it's been far too long since we spent a Saturday morning gossiping and I missed you."

Showing the brunette in she asked, "Are you wearing last nights outfit?" Seeing Liv smirk she added, "Never Mind."

"I come bearing gifts so be nice Novak or I won't share." Replied Liv making herself comfortable on the couch. "So how have you been?"

"Fine. What do you really want Liv? It's not even eight in the morning and seeing as you just left Janes bed...Why are you here?"

"Nothing happened with me and Jane last night other than sleep and she knows I'm here. Case we were friends at least I thought we were and then you just disappeared. I understand getting censured must have been awful and seeing those who reminded you of what you had lost couldn't have been easy but still. I missed you and I want to get our friendship back. That's why I'm here but I can leave if you want."

Seeing Liv starting to stand Casey reached out and places a hand on her arm. "Please stay. I'm sorry I guess I'm embarrassed you had front row seats to my greatest mistake. I missed you while I was away and there would be times I would pick up the phone to call you or send you an email and then I would think, 'Why would she want to be friends with a failure?' Or 'Liv doesn't need a screw up like me in her life.' So I stayed away. I'm sorry if that hurt you it was never my intention."

"Casey, I never saw you as a screw up or a failure I know how hard you fought for the victims. Hell we have all broken the rules at one time or another. Donnelly said you didn't even fight your censure?"

Shrugging Casey replied, "I lied to a judge what ever my reasons, however well intentioned they were I deserved to be punished. I just couldn't watch them walk, I was so sick of the bad guys getting off on technicalities and screwed up forensics. It wasn't fair on the victims and I couldn't stand to see the pain in their eyes when I failed so I tried to bend the rules and ended up paying with my career. What was there to fight over I was guilty. "

Pulling Casey in for a hug Liv took a second to formate a reply, "Casey, even when you lost it was never your fault you had one of the highest conviction rates in the DA's office."

"Winning never felt like victory, I always felt as if I was raping the victims again making them relive the worst moments of their life over and over."

"It let's them take the power back that's what you did." Replied Liv in a quiet voice.

"Maybe. I'm sure you didn't come over to be my shrink. How have you been?"

Understanding Casey wanted to change the subject Liv gave her a smile. "Anytime you need to talk I'm here for you I hope you know that?"

"I do. I've always known it." Replied Casey. "So you and Jane?"

"She is something else...I really like her. She makes me smile and she is sexy as all hell. Well I'm sure you've noticed. How did the two of you meet?"

"I met her in law school and then we lost touch. When I was censured I volunteered at a shelter and Jane was doing probono hours there and we got back in touch. We had a brief fling it was extremely hot and heavy but ultimately we realised we made better friends than a couple...sorry that was probably too much information." Laughed Casey.

"She told me you had a relationship but she described it as 'All fucking and fighting'" laughed Liv as Casey blushed.

"That about covers it. So what happened last night?"

"We went back to Janes place and we talked for hours and then we fell asleep. When I woke up this morning we were talking about you and she said I should come and talk to you. I missed you Novak, so did El and Fin they were always talking about your prowess on the softball team. Talking about softball you should see Cabot on the mound she's hopeless. Maybe you could give her some lessons?"

"I'll mention that next time I see her." Replied Casey letting her mind briefly wonder to a hot and sweaty Alex pressed against her as they practiced swinging a bat.

"You like her don't you?" Asked Liv with a tilt of the head.

"I do, I mean she is sexy, smart, passionate and I'm told compassionate although my case hasn't witnessed any of that yet."

"She is all of those things and I know she likes you. Your case is full of inconsistencies but let's not talk about work. What else have you got up to over the last three years?"

They spent the rest of the day catching up on three years of missed friendship, gossip and by the time Liv left at eight both felt their friendship was as solid had it had been before Casey's censure.

Sunday afternoon Alex was getting frustrated she had been working on her opening statement for the following day but was getting nowhere. Deciding she would take a walk to clear her mind she shrugged on her jacket and headed out of the door. Heading towards the park she was so lost in thought that she didn't hear Casey calling her name until the redhead tapped her on the shoulder causing her to jump and reach for the pepper spray she carried.

Holding her hands up as if surrender Casey gave Alex a lopsided smile, "Whoa! Alex it's just me. I was calling you for half a block."

Relaxing she have Casey a mock glare, "Your lucky I didn't mace you. That would have been a good look for court tomorrow."

"At least the jury wouldn't forget me." Laughed Casey. "You okay? You look a little lost."

"I was just going for a walk to try and clear my head before tomorrow. What are you doing in this neck of the woods?"

"I'm on my way to visit my parents, which is always a fun experience. When are you going to meet a nice young woman and settle down? When are you going to give us grand babies?"

Laughing at the look on Casey's face Alex found herself relaxing after just five minutes in Casey's company. Realising Casey was speaking to her she shook her head. "Sorry I was miles away?"

"I said I should get going. I guess we will be seeing each other tomorrow."

"Absolutely. Have fun." Watching as Casey walked away Alex realised that she missed Casey's company already. Arriving home from her walk Alex took a look bath and decided on an early night, as she was falling asleep her mind was full of Casey. Damn she had it bad was her last thought as she drifted off to sleep with a smile on her face.

Monday morning was a nightmare for Casey she had spilled coffee on her lucky shirt and was now struck in traffic meaning she would be late getting to the office to meet Jane and as it was the first day of Katie's trial. Casey had never been superstitious about trials sure she had a 'lucky opening statement shirt' and a 'believe me suit for closing arguments' but a bad start to the day could only mean it was going to get better. Rushing into the office she gave maggie and grateful smile a she handed her a cup of coffee.

"Thank you Maggie. You're a life saver."

"Jane is waiting in your office for you." Nodding her thanks she rushed into her office smiling at the sight of Jane sitting behind in her chair with her feet on the desk.

"Nice of you to join us." Pressed Jane not looking up from the email she was composing.

"Funny." Replied Casey sitting opposite Jane. "I've had the morning for hell. Are we all set for court?"

"Yeah, Valerie and Katie are meeting us there in forty minutes so we should make a move. How's your opening statement looking?"

"Good, I think. One of the advantages of being the defence is we get to go second so I can change my argument to dispute the defences points. I'm ready when you are." Said Casey standing and picking up her briefcase the two headed for court.

Seeing the two Thomas women waiting for them they made their way into the room they would be using and as Jane explained to Katie what would happen in the court room and how to behave Casey read through her opening her statement and the possibilities of witnesses she would have to cross that day. Hearing the bailiff call their case they made their way into the court room leaving Valerie sitting alone.

Getting Katie situated at the table took a while her nerves making her actions slow and clumsy. Standing as the judge came in Casey felt the familiar stirring of butterflies in her stomach. Watching as Alex stood up she had to admit the blonde looked good in her black suit and red shirt shaking her head she focused on the blondes words.

As Alex stood to start her opening argument she looked across at Katie and knew jury sympathy would be with her. No one wanted to believe a fifteen year old girl would shoot her stepfather to death in cold blood and so she would need to pitch her voice and argument just right.

"On the evening of Saturday the eight of February Katie Thomas went to a party, a party she knew her parents had said she wasn't to go to. As you might expect when her parents found out that she had broken the rules she was punished. Her cell phone and internet privileges were taken away and her allowance was stopped. Then on the morning of the tenth of February Katie walked into her parents bedroom and picked up her stepfather Detective Vince Thomas service weapon flicked off the safety and fired until the clip was empty. She fired all fifteen bullets into his sleeping body giving him no chance to defend himself. She then calmly put the gun down and went back to bed, when her mother returned from work and discovered her husband had been slaughtered. She rushedto check on her daughter she found her asleep covered in the blood of the man she had calmly killed." Pausing to let her words sink in she continued in a softer voice.

"Now the defence will tell you that Detective Thomas abused his step daughter that she felt she had to shoot him to defend herself. Yet, there were never any allegations of abuse made by Katie or her mother. Katie never told her friends, family, teachers or her own mother about the abuse but we are expected to believe that she acted in self defence. Ladies and gentlemen don't be taken in by wide eyed innocence allow the evidence to guide your decision not your emotion as you listen to the evidence."

As Alex sat down Casey paused before rising to give her opening as if she was considering Alex's words finally standing she smoothed her skirt and began to speak. "The prosecution has weaved a good tale but it is a simplistic tale. What Miss Cabot didn't tell you was my client." Pointing to Katie she went on "My fifteen year old client had been abused by her stepfather every day for over five years. He had her trapped in a web of fear and silence like most victims of abuse. So when Katie picked up that gun she wasn't acting as a spoilt teenager acting out because her privileges had been stopped she was protecting herself from someone who had repeatedly attacked her mentally, physically and sexually since she was just nine years old."

Walking towards the jury box Casey continued, "Miss Cabot was right Katie didn't tell her mother, her friends, family or teachers because she was afraid not only that she wouldn't be believed but of her step-fathers reaction. So as you listen to the evidence as you judge Katie's actions I ask you consider them from the view point of a frightened teenager who saw no other way of defending herself."

Sitting down Casey gave Katie a reassuring smile as Alex rose to call her first witness.


	7. Chapter 7

First in the witness-box was the Melinda Warner as the medical examiner for the case her testimony was important for the prosecutions argument. Alex would be able to use it to show Detective Thomas was unable to defend himself against Katie's attack and therefore posed no threat when she picked up the gun, _at least that was the plan._

After walking the jury through Melinda's impressive credentials Alex began discussing the specifics of the case at hand. " , did you have cause to perform an autopsy on Detective Vince Thomas?" Asked Alex keen to use Thomas's title as often as possible it was good for the jury to remember he was a Police Officer.

"I did." Replied Melina in a well practised routine.

"What, if anything did you find?" Asked Alex.

"The deceased had been shot multiple times. From the positions of the shots anyone of seven of these shots would have caused instant death." Replied Melinda as she indicated the diagram to her left.

"In the process of your examination did you find any self-defence wounds?" Asked Alex.

"No, from the position of the body and the wounds I concluded the victim was in bed asleep..."

"Objection!" Called Jane rising from her seat. "Speculation, calls for facts not in evidence. There isn't any way the medical examiner could know if Detective Thomas was asleep or awake."

"Your honour, the placement of the wounds shows how the victim was situated." Argued Alex.

"It shows he was in bed, yet it's a possible he was laying in bed but awake." Argued Jane.

"Sustained. Rephrase or move on." Replied Donnelly.

Sitting down Jane gave Casey a quick wink and smirked at the look of irritation on the taller blondes face at losing the motion.

"Dr Warner, could tell if the victim was able to defend himself from his attacker?" Asked Alex shooting a quick death glare at Jane.

"There were no wounds on the victim's body to suggest he was in any position to defend himself. As I said any number of the fired shots could have proved incapacitating and several would have been instantly fatal. There would have been little chance for any kind of defence to be mounted after the first shot." Replied Warner.

"Thank you Dr Warner. Nothing further at this time." Replied Alex returning to her seat.

As Alex's questions had taken so long after opening statements, Judge Donnelly called a recess for lunch, walking out of the courtroom Casey gave Katie a reassuring smile before excusing herself to go to the restroom. Walking in she saw Alex washing her hands, giving the blonde a smile, "Hi, fancy seeing you here?"

Grinning at Casey in the mirror Alex replied, "Hi, your opening was brilliant. I was almost jealous. Almost."

"Why thank you Miss Cabot." Replied Casey with a blush. "I loved your pacing, it was very...stirring."

"Thanks...I think, it's the culmination of years of practice." Replied Alex as she turned to leave. "I should get going if I want to grab a sandwich before we're due back." Stopping at the door she turned, "Did you come in here looking for me?"

Giving an embarrassed chuckle Casey replied. "No, six cups of coffee and two glasses of water made the visit a necessity. Bumping into you was just a bonus, I have to say Miss Cabot you look hot whilst pacing the courtroom."

Laughing Alex gave a wave as she left, looking at the closed-door Casey smiled to herself, the blonde really did look amazing.

After lunch as pre-arraigned due to Casey previous relationship with the Medical Examiner, Jane would take the cross-examination of Melinda. As she stood and smoothed her skirt Jane looked at the note Casey had hastily scrawled on her legal pad and slid towards her.

"Good afternoon Doctor. Now you testified that any of the shots fired would have incapacitated or indeed killed Detective Thomas?" Asked Jane in a friendly voice.

"That's correct." Replied Melinda in a cautious voice.

"And there are fifteen bullets in a clip, correct?" Asked Jane in the same tone of voice.

"Objection Your Honour." Said Alex standing. "Dr Warner has already answered these questions."

"Is there a point to these questions Miss Lomas?" Asked Donnelly giving Jane a glare that had frightened many an attorney throughout the years.

Giving the judge a small smile Jane replied, "There is Your Honour. I was just clarifying facts."

"I'll give you a small amount of leeway don't abuse it." Replied Donnelly.

Giving Alex another smug smile Jane returned her attention to Warner. "Doctor, there are fifteen bullets in a clip, is that correct?"

"In the model of gun used that is correct." Replied Warner.

"And you recovered fifteen bullets?" Jane already knowing the answer.

"That is correct."

"Were all fifteen bullets recovered from Mr Thomas's body?" Asked Jane.

"No we recover thirteen from his body." Replied Warner.

"Which means that two shots missed their mark?" Replied Jane wanting to make sure the jury knew where she was going with these questions.

"Yes, that would be correct."

"Do you know whether they were the first or the last bullets Katie fired?" Asked Jane.

"There's no conclusive way to know that." Replied Warner with a frown.

"So it's possible Katie's first two shots missed?"

"It's possible, she still fired thirteen shots on target." Replied Warner.

Turning to look at the jury, Jane focused on a middle-aged woman they knew had children and asked, "Isn't it possible then that the first shots missed waking Detective Thomas up and he then said or did something to frighten Katie, causing her to fire until the threat was gone?"

"Objection. There is no possible way Doctor Warner can know the answer to that question."

"Withdrawn, nothing further." Said Jane sitting back down at their table.

As the Judge allowed Warner to step-down from the stand and closed proceeding for the day, Alex watched as Casey and Jane packed up their briefcase. She watched as Jane placed her hand on the small of Casey's back and as Casey look up and laughed at something the blonde said she felt a roaring anger start to build in her chest. Slamming her legal pad in her briefcase she turned and marched out of the courtroom her anger buzzing in her ears.

"Miss Cabot, any comment in how the trial is going so far?" Asked a young court reporter.

"No comment." Replied Alex out of habit. Taking a few steps she changed her mind. "Actually I do have a comment. As Miss Novak was once a prosecutor she is a formidable opponent..."

"Was a prosecutor?" Asked the reporter a gleam in his eye, he knew of Novak's past but getting it as a sound bite from the Assistant District Attorney on the case would boost his story.

"She was censured for lying to a judge." Replied Alex. "Which makes her a loose cannon. That's all I'm wiling to say on the matter." Finished Alex as she started to walk away.

Stepping out of the court-house after putting Katie and her mother in a cab, Jane and Casey were arguing good naturally about who rocked the most, "Did you see my cross?" Asked Jane. "Poor Blondie looked ready to spit at me."

"Blondie really?" Laughed Casey. "Have you looked in the mirror?"

"Haha." Snarked Jane. "Reporter at three O' clock."

"Miss Novak, could we get a comment from you? Miss Cabot said that as you once lied to a judge making you a loose cannon?" Asked the young reporter hoping for an explosive response that would help sell his story.

Jane placed a hand on Casey's arm knowing the redhead was likely to explode and replied, "No comment." Tugging on Casey's arm to get her moving they started down the steps.

"Do you think you're the right person to be defending this case? Is that why you let Miss Lomas cross-examine the Medical Examiner?" Asked the reporter jogging to keep up with the two woman.

Leaning down Jane whispered, "We need to give him something?" In Casey's ear.

Casey stopped so quickly that both the reporter and Jane jumped. "Miss Cabot, is a fine prosecutor who I greatly respect as a person and a fellow member or the legal community. I have nothing more to say on the matter. This trial should be focused on Katie Thomas and the evidence not a personal spat between lawyers."

Both women glared at the reporter who swallowed several times before turning and hurrying away. "Why would she say that?" Asked Casey.

"I don't know. Case you know I have your back and there is no one I would rather be in partnership with. Don't let her get in your head, she isn't worth it."

"I thought we were friends." Replied Casey her voice trembling in anger and hurt.

"Come on I'll buy you dinner." Offered Jane hoping she could calm Casey down and get her focused before court the next day.

"No you have a date tonight. I need to speak to Cabot ask her what her problem is." Replied Casey tilting her chin in defiance.

"Try and be calm." Seeing the look on Casey's face she held her hands up as if in surrender, "I know, I know if it was me I would rip her arms off and shove them...Anyway, your better than that." Finished Jane.

"You know me I never make bad choices." Replied Casey as she turned in the direction of Alex's office.

As she walked Casey had become angrier, storming into Alex's office she demanded, "What the hell was that? How many times are you going to use my past against me? Does it give you a thrill to hurt me?" Her voice wavering slightly at the last line.

Looking up Alex was shocked at the hurt in Casey's voice. "It's not personal Casey. I was just doing my job."

"That's crap and you know it." Replied Casey glaring at the blonde.

"Look Cassandra, I have better things to do with my afternoon than argue with you. You should leave."

"Come on Alexandra, you were out of line and you know it. I would never use the Cavanaugh case against you in the press. Why did you feel the need to publicly destroy me?" Yelled Casey.

"There is no need to be so dramatic." Replied Alex in a calm voice.

"Why do you have to act like the 'Ice Queen' all the time? We both know that's not really who you are."

"What makes you think you know who I 'really am'?" Asked Alex using her fingers to make air quotes. "It's not like we're friends."

"Maybe not, but I though we were on the way to being friends. I saw the real you when you came back for the Conners trial. I saw the fear, loneliness and anger in your eyes. You don't have to keep everyone at arm's length all the time, you have your life back no one is going to make you give it up again."

"I only keep those I don't trust at arm's length. You make bad decisions and I have no intention of getting caught up in them." Snapped Alex troubled by how well Casey could read her.

"At least I won't get frostbite if you keep me at a distance." Snarked Casey.

"I thought you said I wasn't the Ice Queen?" Asked Alex with a smug smirk.

"Not so much an Ice Queen as a walking iceberg. Tell me was it a close family member that sunk the Titanic?" Asked Casey with raised eyebrows.

"You are so infuriating." Replied Alex.

"This is ridiculous. I'll see you tomorrow." Replied Casey picking up her briefcase to leave.

Looking at the posture of the younger woman Alex called. "Casey, wait."

"What?" Asked Casey with a raised eyebrow.

"Your right, I was out of line and I apologise. Please, I do value your friendship and I will call the reporter and threaten, bribe or promise anything as long as he doesn't run the comment."

Shaking her head sadly Casey replied, "Sorry only works if you mean it Alex." Walking out of the blondes office she let the door slam behind her adding the final punctuation mark to their conversation.

Staring at the closed-door Alex put her head in her hands she knew she had spoken out of anger and jealousy and now she had ruined any chance she had getting to know Casey as a friend or as anything more.


	8. Chapter 8

Arriving home after her confrontation with Alex, Casey was too worked up to work or eat so decided to go for a run. Heading to Central Park she stretched and switched on her iPod she started to run letting the fast beat of the music calm her mind. She hoped Alex was able to stop the reporter printing her comment she didn't want Katie's trial to be forgotten among a rehashing of her past and the mistakes it contained, if that happened she would step aside and let Jane defend Katie alone. That or demand a retrial and a new ADA be assigned to the case, one hopefully willing to make a deal. Maybe Alex's spiteful outburst would prove to be beneficial to her, snorting in amusement Casey picked up her pace running until it started to get dark.

As she walked up the stairs to her apartment she was surprised to see Liv waiting for her, frowning she pulled put her key before addressing the Detective, "This is a surprise, I thought you and Jane had dinner plans?"

"We did, it didn't go well." Replied Liv.

"Let me take a shower and I'm all yours? Make yourself at home I won't be long." Smiled Casey thinking Olivia needed some advice or a shoulder to cry on.

"Sure. Take your time." Replied Liv.

Nodding Casey headed in to her bedroom and pulled out her phone, making sure the door was closed she dialled Jane's number, walking into the bathroom she turned on the shower just as Jane picked up.

"Lomas." Came the clipped greeting.

Casey rolled her eyes at the greeting. "You have caller ID woman. Use it."

"Sorry, I was distracted. What's up?" Asked Jane.

As Casey heard Jane's explanation she realised Jane was upset. "Jane, what's going on? Liv is here, she said dinner didn't end well?"

"We argued." Replied Jane.

"I guessed that. Why?" Asked Casey leaning against the tub.

"Over Alex's little stunt today. Guess it just wasn't meant to be." Replied Jane in a resigned voice.

"Jane, I..." Started Casey only to be cut off.

"No Case, I will always defend my friends. Always." Replied Jane in a firm voice. "I have to get on, I need to prep for tomorrow."

"Okay, I'm here if you need me. Anytime." Relied Casey, hating that Liv and Jane were swept up in the tension between her and Alex.

"I know. Night Casey." Replied Jane as she ended the call.

Sighing Casey threw her phone on the bed and quickly showered and dressed before heading into the lounge. Smiling at Liv she detoured to the kitchen to collect a couple of beers before joining the sullen looking brunette on the couch. "I spoke to Jane, what happened?" Seeing Liv hesitate she added, "Talk to me."

"We argued." Started Liv.

"Care to elaborate?" Asked Casey.

Taking a hearty swig of her beer Liv sighed, "We were talking about Alex and her comment to the press, I was trying to be a good friend to both you and Alex when I defended her..."

"You think what she did was defendable, forget what she did to me what about Katie?" Demanded Casey.

Grimacing at the hurt in Casey's voice Liv hung her head, "Of course not. I just...Ugh this is why being friends with lawyers sucks, you can never win an argument. What she did was horrible and I hope it doesn't come back on Katie, all I meant was I don't think she meant to cause you any pain she was just acting out."

"That's okay then, as long as she didn't mean it." Replied Casey.

"No that's not what I mean. We've all done things we shouldn't have when our feathers are ruffled. Casey, I'm your friend and I always will be but I'm Alex's friend as well. I should go." Added Liv standing.

"Liv, I understand and so will Jane once she had calmed down. She is very protective, stay finish your beer and hang out for a while. How about pizza?" Seeing the detective nod Casey ordered the food and they spent the evening gossiping and catching up on The Walking Dead.

After seeing Liv out she texted Jane and told her to call the Detective and put her out of her misery. After four hours of tossing and turning Casey decided to get up and make some tea. Taking her tea to the couch as she was awake and clearly wasn't getting to sleep anytime soon, she decided to do a little on-line shopping, you could never have too many books or shoes. Grabbing her iPad she clicked on her homepage and scanned the news headlines, clicking on the local stories she felt a jolt of anger as she saw the headline, 'Murderer defended my disgraced ex-prosecutor.' Fighting the urge to throw her iPad across the room she clicked on the link and scanned the story.

'Katie Thomas stands accused of murdering her stepfather in cold blood. The defence is arguing that after years of abuse she snapped and was defending herself, if the story seems a little convenient then maybe it's because her lead deference council is former SVU Prosecutor Cassandra Novak. Novak was once a top prosecutor, with one of the highest conviction rates in the District Attorneys office, that was until she lied to a Judge and was Censured for three years. Now it seems she has traded the prosecution for the defence and is using the knowledge she gained in the Special Victims Unit to defend a killer. A killer who calmly shot their step father, a dedicated Detective to death with his own service weapon as he slept before calmly returning to her own bed and going back to sleep. According to the Prosecutor on the case ADA Alexandra Cabot Miss Novak is a 'loose cannon.' It makes you consider the lengths Novak will go to to save her client, if she is the right person to defend a child and if her business partner Jane Lomas knows about her dark past.'

Deciding she had read enough Casey threw her iPad down and started to pace her lounge, picking up her phone she dialled Jane's number.

"'Ello?" Came the Jane's sleepy voice.

Looking at the clock Casey saw it was just after four in the morning, "Jane, I'm sorry I know it's early but we have a problem." Explaining the situation she slumped down on to her sofa. "I'm so sorry..."

Cutting Casey off Jane replied. "Casey, I'll be there in half an hour." Before Casey could argue she was met with the dial tone. Getting dresses she made some coffee and resumed her pacing as she waited for Jane to arrive.

Hearing a knock at the door she ushered the tired looking blonde inside noticing that although Jane was wearing jeans she had a garment bag with her, "I'm so sorry."

"Casey you have NOTHING to be sorry for, Cabot on the other hand I would like to throttle. I read the article and the others on various sites, we have a good case for a miss-trial or even jury nullification. I emailed the Judge and asked for a meeting in chambers before court, considering it's not even five yet it's not surprising she hasn't answered."

They spent the next hour talking about the case and their plans for revenge each one a little more outlandish that the one before. Casey felt more settled as they heard Jane's phone start to ring. "Lomas...Of course your honour...We will be there...Thank you..Good bye." Hanging up Jane gave Casey a small smile, "We have to be in chambers at eight."

"Okay, we should get ready." Replied Casey. As she stepped into the shower Casey wondered if she would ever have to stop paying for her mistake.

Arriving outside Donnelley's chambers just before eight they could hear shouting from inside looking at each other they had to suppress their smiles as they realised it someone was getting their as handed to them by the judge and even better that someone was Alex. Giving Casey a reassuring smile Jane knocked on the door and the two women headed into Donnelley's office.

"Your honour, Miss Cabot." Greeted Jane seeing Casey had no intention of greeting either women. "I'm sure you know why we requested this meeting?"

"I do and I have to say I am disgusted it's necessary." Replied the Judge with a glare at Alex who was fire engine red.

"We are requesting a miss-trial and a new ADA to take over the case as it is clear Miss Cabot can not conduct herself in an appropriate way." Replied Jane shooting the other blonde a glare.

"That seems a little drastic." Replied Alex speaking for the first time since she had arrived in the Judges chamber. She had tried to persuade the reporter not to run the story but he wouldn't budge no matter what she tried.

"Give me a reason I shouldn't remove you and report you to the BAR?" Asked Donnelley.

Casey's head snapped up she didn't want Alex to lose her licence she wasn't that angry. "Your Honour, as much as I'm disappointed in Miss Cabot's behaviour she shouldn't lose her licence."

All three women looked at Casey in surprise, after forty minutes of arguing back and forth Liz leaned back and gave her decision. "I think a miss-trial is unnecessary. I will speak to the jury and any who saw the article which has since been removed will be replaced with alternates. I will give you a recess of a day to consult with your client incase the report causes her to question your role as council. Miss Cabot one toe out of line and I will hold you in contempt AND report you to the BAR. Do you understand?"

"Yes your honour." Replied Alex in a small voice.

"Good. I hope this goes without saying but I hope you're not thinking of inflaming the situation or repaying the favour?" Asked the Judge as she glared at Jane before softening her gaze when it landed on Casey.

"Of course not Your Honour, we just want to do our best for Katie." Replied Casey, pleased her voice sounded strong. After being dismissed Jane headed off to find Katie and explain the situation whilst Casey headed to the restroom before attempting to sneak out the court-house without the press mobbing her.

Seeing Casey coming out of court alone Alex took a deep breath and headed over to the redhead who had come to a stop and was reading something on her phone. "Casey, can we talk? Please?"

"Go to hell." Replied Casey as she fought her way through the reporters with a firm 'No comment.' She headed towards her office hoping she could find some way to save the case and what was left of her reputation.

After speaking to Katie and her mother who assured her they were happy for them to stay in as council, Jane left the courthouse in time to see Casey being mobbed by the press and her brief conversation with Alex. Hearing her phone ping a new email she saw the news alerts for their case and each mentioned Casey's Censure and Alex's comments. Feeling her anger start to build again she decided if Casey wasn't going to tear Alex a new one she would.

Storming into Alex's office Jane didn't even bother to knock, "What the hell were you hoping to achieve?"

Looking up Alex rolled her eyes when she saw who it was that had just barged into her office, "Please do come in."

"Don't worry I won't be staying long. I saw the look you gave me, what is your problem?" Demanded Jane as she glared at the taller blonde.

"What look?" Demanded Alex with a matching glare.

"Cut the crap Cabot. You know the look. You think there is something going on between me and Casey." It wasn't a question this time but a statement.

"I just don't want you hurting Liv." Replied Alex, cursing that Jane had noticed.

"Well, you don't have to worry about that, me and Liv won't be seeing each other anymore thanks to your little stunt. Congratulations, you managed to ruin two relationships. Have a nice day Alexandra."

Stopping at the door she turned back to the blonde who was now slumped in her seat, "You know there is nothing you could say that would make Casey feel any worse than she already does. She made a mistake but she paid for it and is doing everything she can to work her way back."

"I...she was reckless and pulled this office in to disrepute. Do you know how hard I had to work to re-establish its reputation." Demanded Alex glaring at the shorter blonde a condescending look.

"From what I heard Sonya Paxton caused just as much if not more damage than Casey, yet your happy to play nice with her. This has nothing to do with professional rivalry it's all personal. You like Casey and you let your jealousy and petty insecurities get the better of you. Congratulations you're never going to have to worry about Casey tainting your reputation again, she wants nothing to do with you. Can't say I blame her."

Looking at the closed-door of her office Alex put her head in her hands, _What had she done?_

**A/N; Oh Alex what a mess.**


	9. Chapter 9

_What had she done?_

After several hours of staring at the same blank page and fielding visits from colleagues looking for gossip and calls from reporters Alex gave up and decided to call it a day. Packing up her briefcase she decided to head home, maybe she would be able to think of a way to fix this mess before she lost her job and her friends. Arriving home she changed into her jeans and a Harvard Law hoodie before settling on the couch, there was only one thing on her mind, Casey. Not only had she had ruined any chance she had with getting to know Casey as a friend or as something more but what was worse she had managed to come between Liv and Jane.

She knew Liv liked Jane and was frightened that her stunt had destroyed her friendship with Liv after she had worked so hard to repair it after her return from the Congo. Deciding she couldn't put talking to Liv off any longer she reached for her phone she dialled Liv's number,

"Benson." Came the brisk greeting.

Feeling her stomach twist at the tone of Liv's voice she said, "Hey, Liv."

"Hey Al, sorry it's a new handset and I haven't programmed the numbers in yet. Everything okay?"

Sighing Alex said, "I spoke to Jane today, Liv I am so sorry. I never meant for you to get dragged into this mess. Hell I never meant for any of this to happen, I was just..."

"Jealous? Pissed off? Arrogant? An idiot?" Supplied Liv.

Giving a small laugh Alex replied, "All of the above."

"Alex, I'm not going to say it's okay because it's not, you were out of line, but I'm willing to bet you are beating yourself up enough for both of us." Replied Liv in a gentle voice.

"But you really liked her and my idiotic comment has come between the two of you and if anyone deserves to be happy it's you. I'm so sorry Liv, is there no way you two can work it out?"

"I do and once this has died down a bit and the trial is over, I'm going to do my best to persuade her I'm worth dating. Like Casey said we were both defending our friends and once she has calmed down she will see that." Replied Liv. "What about you and Casey?"

"She hates me and she had every right to, God Liv she looked devastated in chambers today, you know the worst thing was she actually defended me what Donnelly wanted to report me to the BAR."

"That's Casey for you, she is one of a kind." Replied Liv.

Nodding her head even though she knew the Detective couldn't see. "Are we okay?" Asked Alex chewing her lip.

"Of course. Like I told Casey last night, I am friends with both of you and it sucks to be friends with lawyers because you can never win an argument." Laughed Liv. "Drink's Friday?"

"Absolutely. Thank you Liv." Replied Alex, feeling some of the tension leave her knowing Liv wasn't angry with her. After a few more minutes of conversation they hung up and Alex decided to take a bath.

Alex had just stepped out of the bath when she heard a frantic knocking at the door, sighing she pulled on a robe and headed to the door. Looking through the peephole she frowned when she saw it was Casey, debating ignoring her and hoping she would go away she jumped when she heard Casey's voice.

"I know you're there. I can see your shadow under the door genius." Slurred Casey.

Realising the redhead was drunk she opened the door, "Cassandra, you're drunk."

"Ohh icy." Smirked Casey. "And you _Alexandra_, you are a first-rate bitch." Said Casey staggering slightly.

Placing her hand on Casey's arm she led her into her apartment and got her settled on the couch before going to get her a bottle of water. "Drink this, you need to sober up."

"Why do you care?" Asked Casey ignoring the offered water.

"I don't want you to do a Paxton in court tomorrow." Replied Alex.

"What's the point in even turning up, everyone is judging me not Katie. Why did you do it? Do you enjoy watch in me in pain? Or do you not think I was punished enough?" Asked Casey with anger in her voice.

"I told you..." Started Alex only to be cut off by Casey who had stood and started to pace.

"Jane said it's because you were jealous?" Asked Casey with a raised eyebrow.

"Jane has a big mouth." Mumbled Alex under her breath. "I was wrong Casey, I'm sorry I never meant to hurt you or Jane. I especially didn't mean for it to rebound on the trial or Katie."

"Were you jealous? Is that why you did it?" Asked Casey, sitting back down on the sofa and pinning Alex with a glare.

Taking a breath Alex decided telling the truth may go some way to fixing things between them."Yes, I saw you laughing and her hand on your back and I got jealous. It's stupid."

"You really are an idiot Cabot." Replied Casey, "Me and Jane had a brief fling, it was just sex and we both knew it and decided we were better off as friends."

"I was just...I'm so sorry, I hope one day you will be able to forgive me." Admitted Alex hanging her head.

"Why were you such a bitch when I came to see you in your office? If you felt bad for what you had done, why not just apologise?" Demanded Casey her glare still as sharp.

"You read me so well, no one has ever been so intuitive of my emotions the way you are, I can generally hide them from people. I have been friends with Liv for over ten years and she can't read me the way you can, after just a few meetings. It frightened me and I lashed out at you." Admitted Alex, finally meeting Casey's eyes.

"I was so stupid because I thought we were at the start of something special either friendship or maybe even a relationship." Replied Casey as she stood to leave.

Not knowing what to say Alex settled for, "You shouldn't drive."

"I'm not stupid, I'll call a cab. See you tomorrow Alexandra." Pausing at the door she turned and walked back towards where Alex was still seated on the couch, "I want to hate you but I can't because as much as my censure hurt it was my doing, but your life was destroyed by someone else. The thing is when you think about it we were both just trying to get justice for the victims, I'm not a bad person Alex, I'm sorry you don't see that."

Although the redhead hadn't shouted or raised her voice the disappointment and hurt in her voice effected Alex more than Jane's ranting or Donnelly's anger. Hearing the door close behind the redhead Alex poured herself a glass of wine and stood by the window watching the rain, trying to find some way to make it right with Casey. After half a bottle of wine she had come up with an idea, sitting at the table she pulled her legal pad towards her and began to write. After an hour she picked up her phone and dialled a familiar number,

_ "Sandy, it's Alex Cabot about that favour you owe me..."_

Waking up the following morning Casey groaned at the pounding in her head, _why had she drunk so much? _Standing she headed for the bathroom and after swallowing two pain killers she ran the shower, stepping under the spray she closed her eyes and replayed her conversation with Alex the night before.

She could tell the blonde was genuinely sorry for what she had said and the fall out from it and as much as she wanted to forgive Alex it wasn't just Casey that had been hurt by her actions but Jane and possibly Katie.

Hearing her cell phone ringing she grabbed a towel and answered it, "Have you seen the news this morning?" Asked Jane in lieu of a greeting.

"Well good morning to you too." Replied Casey rolling her eyes.

"News Novak, have you seen it?"

"No, oh God what now?" Asked Casey dreading what was being said about her now.

"Just check the link I sent you and don't be late for court." Said Jane hanging up.

Rolling her eyes Casey quickly finished her shower and got dressed, pouring herself a cup of coffee she opened the link Jane had sent. She watched as Alex stepped forward for what was clearly a press conference, the blonde looked emasculate as always dressed in a dark blue pant suit.

"My name is Assistant District Attorney Alexandra Cabot, there has been some speculation over the competence of my opposing counsel Casey Novak because of an ill thought out comment I made on Monday. I would like to go on the record and say that Casey Novak is one of the finest attorneys I have had the privileged to be in a court room with, despite being on opposite sides that remained true. Her censure was brought about not through laziness or a disregard for the rules but through her desire to gain justice for those who couldn't achieve it themselves. As a Prosecutor she had an enviable conviction rate and I am sure that as a defence attorney she will have just as much success."

Pausing to take a breath she continued. "The case at hand and the facts involved are the only thing of any importance at moment and I ask that is an end to the matter. Thank you for your time."

As the clip ended Casey closed her laptop and finished her coffee, maybe there was hope for her and Alex yet. Arriving at the court-house she was pleased the press ignored her and Jane as they climbed the steps ready for another day.

Watching as Liv was sworn in Casey leaned across and whispered, "You okay with doing her cross-examination?"

"Absolutely, I'm looking forward to it." Smiled Jane as she stood and approached the witness-box, she would ignore how good Benson looked on the stand, _honestly she would.  
_

"Detective in your fifteen years of experience with the Special Victims Unit would you say all abuse victims speak out?" Asked Jane.

"No but..." Began Liv only to be cut off by Jane.

"Yes or no detective?"

"No." Admitted Liv.

"And in your experience, what is the most common reason they stay silent?" Asked Jane looking at the jury.

"Fear, they won't be believed, fear of suffering more abuse, fear of their abuser hurting someone they care about."

"Such as a mother?" Asked Jane.

"Yes, or another family member." Replied Liv.

"Did Katie give you any of those reasons when you asked her why she didn't report her step father and the abuse she suffered at his hands?"

"She said she was afraid she wouldn't be believed and that he would hurt her and her mother." Replied Liv.

Walking back to the defence table she accepted the page Casey handed her, "Detective, could you please read the highlighted section?"

Taking the page Liv read, "Benson:Why didn't you tell anyone your step father was abusing you? Thomas: I was afraid, I wouldn't be believed because he was a police officer or that he would hurt my mom."

"Fear of not being believed and fear of retaliation are two of the reasons for not speaking out that you listed, correct?"

"Yes, that's correct." Replied Liv.

"Thank you Detective. Nothing further." Replied Jane sitting down.

After court was dismissed for the day Casey headed to the restroom to freshen up, as she walked in Alex was coming out and after an awkward dance and tentative smiles Casey called, "Alex?" Waiting until the blonde was looking at her she added, "Thank you."

"Casey, I will do anything to make this right." Replied Alex.

"I believe you, I'm sorry for showing up drunk last night and for calling you a bitch."

"We're good. Have a good night."

As Casey watched Alex walk away she felt the familiar butterflies she got when she was near the blonde, shaking her head she thought, _Oh yeah Novak you've got it bad._


	10. Chapter 10

Arriving home that evening Casey could get Alex out of her mind, after eating dinner, taking a shower and browsing the internet, including re-watching Alex's press conference until she knew it by heart Casey found she was still thinking about the blonde. Deciding she needed some advice she called Jane and arranged to meet for a drink at the bar near Jane's apartment.

Arriving she could see Jane seated in a booth reading something on her phone, she knew that no matter how much Jane denied it she was sad things with Liv had ended badly and Casey promised herself she would talk to Liv again. Sliding into the booth she gave Jane a warm smile, "Hi, come here often?"

"Only when meeting hot red heads." Grinned Jane, pushing a glass of red wine towards Casey.

"Any luck with that?" Grinned Casey, taking a sip of her wine.

"Looks like it." Smiled Jane. "So what's up?"

"Straight to the point, huh?" Smiled Casey before blurting, "I'm in love with Alex."

"Yeah, I figured that much when you defended her in Donnelly's chambers, oh and all the 'office sexy times' might have been a give away." Replied Jane. "Do you think she has feelings for you?"

"I think so, I mean she got jealous when you put your hand on my back and when I went to speak to her she said she was frightened of how well I can read her. My head is a mess." Replied Casey. "It's not like anyone can happen whilst the case is going on anyway."

"Well you might be in luck, she rang me earlier and wants a meeting tomorrow to discuss a deal following new evidence that has come to light." Smiled Jane, before becoming serious, "Casey, I love you, you are one of my closest friends and I want you to be happy. I might not like Alex very much but if she makes you happy then go for it, just promise me you will protect your heart until she proves herself worthy."

"I promise. Now, what about you and Liv?" Asked Casey.

"She left me a message asking me to dinner next week." Replied Jane taking a sip of her wine.

"That's good, she was really upset when things went wrong." Replied Casey. "What's troubling you?" Asked Casey as she studied her friend.

"I'm Not good at relationships, what if I screw it up? I mean we were friends and we couldn't make it work." Replied Jane chewing her lip.

Reaching across Casey placed her hand over Jane's, "Jane, we didn't work because we are too similar and neither of us were in the right place for a real relationship. It was nothing you did, it just wasn't meant to be."

"The sex was good though." Smirked Jane, her grin growing when she saw Casey blush.

"Yes the sex was amazing." Laughed Casey. Finishing their drinks the two arranged to meet at the café near the DA's office in the morning before their meeting with Alex. Leaving the bar Casey realised she was only a block away from Alex's apartment. Hesitating for a few seconds she changed direction and walked towards the blondes apartment building.

Knocking on the door as she waited for Alex to answer Casey suddenly realised she didn't know what she wanted to say and as the seconds passed and there was no answer she felt relieved. Turning to leave she pressed the button to call the elevator, pulling her phone out of her pocket as she waited intending to text Jane she was startled when she heard a familiar voice.

"Casey?"

"I won't drink soup out of a mug." Seeing Alex's confused expression. Casey shook her head and explained, "You said you wanted to get to know me, so I decided I would tell you something different about me each day until you felt as if you know me well enough to go on a date with me."

Smiling Alex replied, "Okay, why?"

"Why a fact each day? Or why won't I drink soup out of a mug?" Asked Casey with a relieved smile.

"The soup?" Replied Alex with a raised eyebrow as they walked back towards Alex's apartment door.

"Well soup is a food and you eat food with cutlery. You don't drink it." Replied Casey as if it was most obvious thing in the world.

"Okay..." Replied Alex drawing the word out.

"Your turn." Replied Casey whilst she took Alex's shopping bags allowing her to unlock the door.

"My turn?" Asked Alex.

"Yeah, tell me something about you." Replied Casey.

"I enjoy Disney movies, my favourite is Peter Pan." Replied Alex.

"Disney movies." Smirked Casey. "Okay then, I'll see you tomorrow." Replied Casey walking away.

"Did you want to come in?" Asked Alex looking confused.

Turning Casey replied, "No, I'll see you tomorrow Alex."

Watching as Casey walked away Alex couldn't help but smile, Oh yeah Cabot you've got it bad.

Walking in to the coffee shop the following morning Casey ordered their coffee's and whilst waiting for Jane who was running late decided to text Alex her daily fact,_** 'I hate the feel of cotton wool. Xx' **_

She smiled when her phone chimed an instant reply,_** 'Good morning to you to, I'm afraid of birds. (The feathered variety.) Xx'**_. She was still smiling when Jane arrived ten minutes later.

"You look pleased with yourself this morning." Smiled the blonde moaning in pleasure at the coffee Casey had waiting for her.

Blushing Casey replied, "How can you make drinking coffee sound like you're having hot sex?"

"It's a gift. So I rang Liv, we're having dinner tomorrow night." Replied Jane with a wide smile.

"That's brilliant, you should wear the red dress." Suggested Casey. After half an hour of small talk they headed to Alex's office for their meeting. Meeting up with Katie and Valerie they headed to the conference room where Liv and Alex were waiting.

"Good morning, thank you for coming." Smiled Alex as she closed the door.

"You said you had an offer for us?" Replied Jane getting straight down to business.

"Some new evidence has come to light." Relied Alex looking to Liv to continue.

"We did some digging and it turns out Vince was arrested for rape and several counts of making and distributions child porn in California."

"How was he able to be a detective then?" Asked Casey.

"He assumed someone else's identity when he left prison. We only found out when a DNA match came back after the lab re-ran it thinking it was a mistake." Replied Liv. "We're still looking into the details."

"Under the circumstances I'm willing to drop the charges with the condition Katie attends six months of therapy. I'll give you a few minutes to discuss it with your client." Said Alex as she and Liv stepped out of the room.

"Katie, do you understand what she is offering." Asked Jane.

"I think so. This will all be over." Asked the teen.

"That's right." Replied Jane.

"What should I do." Asked Katie looking at Casey whom she had bonded with.

"That's up to you, but it's a good offer and therapy might not be a bad thing." Replied Casey in a gentle voice.

"I'll take the deal." Replied Katie.

Calling Alex back in they accepted the deal and arranged for the paperwork to be sent over to their office later that day. They took Katie and her mother out for burgers to celebrate before heading back to their office.

Friday morning Casey was sitting at her desk procrastinating about starting her paperwork when she decided to text Alex her fact of the day, thinking about it she wrote, _**'My dream car is an Aston Martin DB5. Xx'**_

It took forty minutes for Alex to reply,**_ 'Im taking a cooking class. Xx'_**

Attempting to play it cool and not reply too quickly she waited twenty minutes before replying. **_'Ohh if you need a guinea pig let me know. Xx' _**She grinned when the blondes reply was instant_**.'Why don't you come over tonight? There's a new pasta dish I wanted to try. X'**_

Feeling as if hundreds of butterflies had taken flight in her stomach she replied_** 'Name the time?xx' **_The wait for the blondes reply seemed to go on for ever just as she was starting to worry Alex had changed her mind she felt her stomach flip when she saw the one word response.**_'Seven? Xx'_** grinning she replied.**_ 'It's a date, see you then. Xx' _**

Arriving at Alex's apartment building that evening Casey felt her palms start to sweat, she really liked the blonde she just hoped she didn't so anything to mess it up. Stepping into the elevator she checked her reflection in the mirror, checking her teeth for spinach even though she hadn't eaten spinach since she was old enough to spit. Taking a deep breath she knocked on the door and smoothed her hand down her shirt whilst she waited for Alex to open the door.

Hearing the door open she smiled at the sight of Alex dressed causally in jeans and a blue silk shirt with her hair pulled back in a ponytail, "Hi, you look beautiful." Handing Alex the gift bag she was holding, "This is for you."

"Thank you, come on in." Replied the blonde smiling as she took Casey's jacket, taking a second to run her eyes over Casey in tight black jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt. "You look lovely." Opening the bag she smiled at the Special edition Peter Pan DVD Casey had brought. "Thank you, I love it."

Giving a small smile Casey followed Alex towards the kitchen. "You're welcome. Something smells amazing."

"Thanks, it's just pasta. Would you like a glass of wine?" Seeing Casey nod she added, "Red or white?"

"Either's fine." Seeing Alex raise an eyebrow she chuckled, "Red please."

"See that wasn't so hard was it?" Grinned Alex pouring them both a glass of wine.

"Dinner will be about half an hour, she we sit down." Suggested Alex.

Walking into the living room Casey scanned the large bookshelf which was crammed with everything from Harry Potter to the latest law reviews. Turning to Alex she said, "Pick a quote that you think represents me?"

Pausing for a second Alex smiled, "One mistake does not have to rule a person's entire life." Seeing Casey swallow and give a shy smile she said "Your turn?"

Thinking for a minute Casey said, "Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could."

Blinking back her tears Alex couldn't find the words to reply so settled on leaning forward and claiming Casey's lips in a soft kiss that said more than she ever could.


	11. Chapter 11

Feeling the blondes lips on hers Casey moaned into the kiss and tangled her fingers in Alex's hair enjoying the feel of the blonde pressed against her. The kiss was filled with emotion rather than the raw passion that had fuelled their earlier kisses as they parted she whispered, "Wow, that was amazing."

"I...was that okay?" Asked Alex as she looked down at her hands.

"It was perfect, Alex I meant what I said I want to get to know you, the real you. Not Alexandra Cabot the ADA who returned from the dead and then ran off to the Congo on a crusade, as admiral as that was. I want to know Alex, which bit of the paper you read first, the movies you watch when you're sick and the the things you like to do on rainy Sundays. I want you to know the real Casey Novak, not just the screw up who lied to a judge and committed career suicide."

Smiling Alex replied, "I always read the cartoons first, Sister Act or The Lion King, sometimes both and I like to spend rainy Sundays curled up on the couch watching old movies or reading. What about you? What do you do on rainy Sundays?"

"I like to walk in the rain, then curl up and watch old movies. I love Marilyn Monroe movies especially 'Some Like It Hot.'. What can I say I have a thing for hot blondes." Grinned Casey.

Just as Alex leaned in for another kiss the oven timer bleeped, "Rain check?"

"Always." Grinned Casey as she followed Alex into the kitchen. Looking at the burned pasta dish Alex pulled from the oven Casey tried to hold back her laugh but failed, "These cooking classes, are they refundable?"

Trying to glare at the smirking redhead Alex failed and was soon laughing as hard as Casey. Throwing the pasta, bowl and all in the trash she asked, "So Thai or Pizza?"

"Either is fine with me." Replied Casey, walking the blonde backwards so her back was resting against the sink and leaned forward until their lips were almost touching and whispered, "Can I claim my rain check now?"

Smiling Alex leaned forwards the last few millimetres and claimed Casey's lips in a deep kiss, as their tongues battled for dominance Alex tangled her fingers in Casey's red hair. Moaning as she felt Casey trail her finger tips under her shirt, braking the kiss she pushed Casey back slightly whilst still maintaining contact. "As much as I want to drag you into my bedroom and make you scream my name until morning, I want the next time we make love to be special."

"I understand, we can take it as slow as you like." Replied Casey pulling Alex back against her and holding her tight. "Like I said I want to get to know you."

"You're very sweet." Replied Alex as she pressed a light kiss to Casey's lips before walking over to a draw and taking out several take-out menus. "Shall we order some dinner? I believe I promised to feed you."

Nodding they had settled on ordering Thai and were soon seated on the couch waiting for their food to be delivered talking about their childhoods, "So what was Alex Cabot like as a child?" Asked Casey with a smirk.

"I was quiet shy, I read a lot. My family name dictated a lot of my childhood, not that it was horrible. My mom was always singing and playing the piano and my dad he was a good man, they always supported me and encouraged me and when I came out I half expected them to disown me. They didn't they were fine, they just wanted me to be happy." Feeling herself becoming sad talking about the parents she missed she forced a smile and asked, "What was Casey Novak like?"

"I think I was an angel, but according to my mom I was a hell raiser, she blames me for all her grey hairs. I mean I have four older brothers two of which serve in the military, but no it's me that gets the blame." Laughed Casey.

"I need more than that?" Replied Alex as she watched Casey talk about her family she couldn't help but be pulled into the sparkling green eyes.

"Okay so this one time, I was about seventeen and I was dating this collage chick complete with tattoos, motor bike and badass attitude. My mom catches us making out in the tree house, and gets flustered. I stand up to try and talk to her and she stepped back and missed a step so she grabs at me to steady herself and we both end up tumbling out of the treehouse. So there I am in just my bra and jeans and my dad walks out of the door to see what's going on accompanied by the local priest."

They were both laughing, "Oh God, your poor parents. Was your mother okay?"

"She was fine, I on the other hand needed three stitches and was grounded for two weeks." Laughed Casey.

"So your family are Catholic? How did they take the gay thing?"

"I was always a tomboy preceding softball to ballet classes so it didn't come as too much of a shock to my mom. My dad was a little more troubled by it, he was worried about the way people would perceive me and what it could do to my career. I remember this one day these local boys called me a dyke in front of the priest and he dragged me home threatening hell and damnation."

Pausing to take a sip of wine she went on, "So we arrive home and my dad answers the door and the priest is telling him I will never be accepted and God doesn't except 'my kind'. So my dad this big tough ex-marine pulls me into his arms and stares at this priest and tells him, _'In every bible I have ever read love is the overwhelming message and if my daughter is lucky enough to find someone who loves her then any God I believe in wouldn't turn his back on her, he would rejoice and celebrate that love just as I will.'_ Then we go inside and he makes me a hot chocolate and taught me how to throw a punch." Finished Casey.

"He sounds amazing." Said Alex as she leaned forward and brushed a stray tear from Casey's cheek that had fallen as she recalled the memory. Leaning forward she pressed a gentle kiss to Casey's lips before adding, "Just like his daughter."

Grinning Casey replied, "You're pretty amazing yourself, despite your lack of cooking skills."

"Hey, I'll have you know I've improved. If it had been six months ago I probably would have set the apartment alight." Replied Alex with a mock scowl.

"Then when I say my prayers tonight I will say an extra one for your neighbours." Laughed Casey as Alex hit her with a cushion. Grabbing the cushion she pressed Alex back onto the couch and claimed her lips in a soft kiss than quickly became heated. Breaking apart they were both breathless. "I never want to stop kissing you." Whispered Casey.

"Right back at you Novak." Grinned Alex.

After sharing dinner and several more stories they had ended up sitting so close their knee's touched, "Will you go out with me tomorrow?" Asked Casey chewing her lip.

Placing her hand on the side of Casey's face, "Don't look so nervous. I would love to have dinner with you tomorrow evening." Replied Alex.

"Hang on, who said anything about tomorrow evening?" Asked Casey. "I want to spend the whole day with you. I was thinking lunch and then dinner." Smirked Casey, "And who knows maybe Sunday breakfast."

"Now you're pushing it." Smiled Alex. "Tomorrow sounds lovely. Do I still get a 'Casey fact' if you're with me?"

"Absolutely, I might even let you have two if you're really nice to me." Grinned Casey.

"What constitutes being 'really nice'?" Asked Alex with a smile.

"Lots of kisses." Grinned Casey, before capturing Alex's lips in a soft kiss.

"I think I can manage that." Replied Alex with a smile and a kiss just to prove her point. "How do you think Liv and Jane are getting on? I know Liv was nervous this afternoon, she really likes Jane."

"Jane was the same. I think they will make a cute couple." Replied Casey. "It's a good job Liv is a big butch detective Jane can be a...handful."

"She seems really nice, I'm looking forward to getting to know her." Replied Alex.

"Liar." Grinned Casey.

"Busted. She is terrifying, when she marched into my office I was half expecting her to kick my ass. I mean I would have deserved it but still, for one so little she is terrifying."

"She is very protective and you're right she can be terrifying. I once saw her reduce a waitress to tears. Although, I never thought Alex Cabot would be afraid of anyone, let alone a 5'4 blonde whirlwind." Smirked Casey.

"I'm afraid of you." Whispered Alex.

"Why?" Asked Casey with a frown.

"You make me feel things I haven't felt since before I was shot. You test me and you can read me better than anyone I've ever known. I'm so afraid you will see how damaged I am you will realise I'm not worth being around." Replied Alex in the same quiet voice.

"Alex, we all have our demons, I'm no exception. I promise nothing will make me run, unless you're an axe murderer or a Red Sox fan." Finished Casey hoping to lighten the mood.

"I promise I'm not an axe murder." Replied Alex before smirking, "I'm not a Red Sox fan, I prefer white and blue."

Pretending to stand Casey replied. "You're a Yankess fan? That's it I'm off."

Laughing Alex pulled her back down on the sofa, "I'm sure we can work it out."

Looking at her watch Casey reluctantly stood and collected her jacket. "I should get going, I have a hot date tomorrow."

"That's funny so do I." Smiled Alex as she walked Casey to the door. "Will you text me once you get home?"

Pulling Alex close they shared a gentle goodnight kiss. "I promise, I'll pick you up at eleven."

"I can't wait. I'll see you in the morning." Smiled Alex sharing another kiss.

Alex was just climbing into bed after a shower she smiled when she saw a text message from Casey, **'Thank you for a lovely evening, I am home safe and missing you already. You can have this 'Casey fact' for free, I'm crazy about you. I have been since the first time I saw you smile. Sleep well Alex. Xx'**

Grinning Alex fell asleep and for the first time since she had been shot she felt excited for the future.


	12. Chapter 12

Waking up early the following morning Alex was unable to get back to sleep, deciding to get out of bed and shower so she could have a lazy breakfast and take her time getting ready. She couldn't help the smile that spread across her face as she realised she would be seeing Casey in just a few hours.

She was just stepping out of the shower when she heard her phone chime a new message, smiling even wider when she saw the message was from Casey she laughed quietly as she read,** 'Growing up I wanted to be the Milky bar kid. I even had the hat and the glasses. I can't wait to see you later. Xx'**

As she thought of her reply she really hoped there were pictures of Casey as the Milky bar kid somewhere because she couldn't imagine anything cuter than Casey in glasses and a cowboy hat. Picking up her phone she replied, **'Are there pictures? When I was younger I was always afraid of the Daleks. Can't wait to see you. xx'**

Walking over to her wardrobe to pick something to wear she heard her phone begin to ring, seeing Casey's number she smiled, "Hello, I was just thinking about you."

"All good thoughts I hope." replied Casey in an amused voice.

"Always, apart from the naughty ones." teased Alex.

"Now, now Miss Cabot teasing isn't nice and you're already in trouble." Relied Casey in a sultry tone.

"Trouble?" asked Alex in the same amused voice as she shrugged into her new skin-tight black jeans.

"Yes, after careful consideration I have decided your fact of the day doesn't count." replied Casey.

"Oh and why is that?" asked Alex, putting her phone on loud-speaker as she decided on a light blue jumper.

"Every one was afraid of the Daleks when they were little. So you're going to have to come up with another."

"And if I refuse?" replied Alex knowing that was never going to happen one look at those green eyes and she would spill her deepest secrets.

"Well then I will have to drink your coffee and eat the muffin I brought you." replied Casey.

Hearing someone knock at her apartment door Alex's smile grew even wider, "There is someone at my door, I wonder who that could be?"

"I guess opening it would be a good way to find out." Replied Casey.

"I know my girlfriend is due round soon and I would hate for her to get jealous." Replied Alex grinning as she walked towards the door.

"Girlfriend huh?"asked Casey with a smile in her voice.

Alex's eyes went wide as her brain registered what she had said, "Oh, I mean..."

"Alex its fine, I would love to be your girlfriend, now open the damn door I want to kiss my girlfriend good morning." Replied Casey hanging up.

Opening the door Alex smiled widely at the sight of Casey dressed in tight jeans, knee-high black boots a light green Gremlins t-shirt and fitted jacket. Smiling shyly she said, "You look amazing."

"Thank you, as do you. Which considering I'm two hours early is impressive." replied Casey leaning forward and claiming Alex's lips in a gentle kiss. "Now before I give you your coffee or any more kisses I believe you owe me a 'Alex fact.'"

"Fine." replied Alex leading Casey into the lounge. "Okay, I'm a huge Lord of the Rings fan, I love the movies and the books."

"That's better, I always knew you were a geek." smiled Casey handing Alex the coffee and muffin she had brought. "I'm sorry for being so early, I couldn't settle knowing I would be seeing you soon, so I thought I would get coffee."

"Its fine, I was awake early because I was excited to be spending the day with you. So what do you have planned for today?"

"I was thinking we could start at the aquarium." replied Casey. "I thought I could use today to show you the real Casey Novak and then providing you still want to and you agree next Saturday you can show me the real Alexandra Cabot."

"I'll want to there is nothing that will stop me wanting to be with you. I haven't been to the aquarium since I was a teenager." Smiled Alex.

"I worked there whilst I was censured." admitted Casey.

"Doing what?" asked Alex keeping her tone light knowing the subject wasn't a pleasurable one for Casey.

"Before I decided I wanted to be a lawyer I was interested in marine science, whilst I was censured I went to night school and took a course and ended up working there, just basic stuff like cleaning the tanks, maintaing the water purity and stuff like that. I wasn't sure I would ever get my licence back, or that I wanted it so I thought it best to try something new."

"You don't have to answer this if you don't want to, why weren't you sure you wanted it back?" asked Alex remembering how thankful she was when she was able to get back to work as a lawyer after witness protection.

"Most people just want to know why I risked it all." replied Casey in a sad voice, standing she walked to the window.

"Like I said we don't have to talk about this now." said Alex walking over and wrapping her arms around Casey smiling when the redhead leaned back and gave a pleasurable moan at the contact.

"It's fine, I want you to know. I never wanted SVU it's no secret I asked Branch to transfer me several times in the first six months or so I was assigned. It wasn't just the cases but every one treated me like I was second to you, even Liv and Elliott. As time passed the squad accepted me and that helped, but even when I won I felt like I lost, like I had violated the victims over and over."

Taking a breath she went on, "I would watch these rapists, child molesters and murders walk free on technicalities or jury stupidity. I was so tired of fighting monsters and never winning the case came up and I pushed it, I admit I was wrong but at the time all I wanted was justice. When Liz told me I was facing censure, there was this little part of me that was relieved I wouldn't have to deal with the cases anymore."

"Why didn't you just transfer?" asked Alex, she knew the horrors of SVU all to well.

"That felt like cowardice, I thought about it every week but, then my pride would kick in, I would think if I wasn't there they might end up with some moron and no one would get justice."

"Why go back?" Asked Alex in a gentle voice.

"I had to prove to myself I wasn't weak that I could be who I was before, but as it turned out I couldn't, I couldn't deal with the horrors of the cases and the looks I received from everyone, they either looked at me with pity or as if they were waiting for my next screw up."

"Then why private practice? Why not go back to work at the aquarium if you enjoyed it so much?" asked Alex still standing with her arms wrapped around Casey.

"The day I quit, I called Jane to go for a drink. She knew all about my censure and never judged me for it, she had always talked about setting up an advocacy law practice and I still love the law so we formed a partnership." Turning to face Alex she pressed a soft kiss to the blondes mouth and led them back to the sofa, now the hardest part of the conversation was over she felt she could tell the rest of the story looking at Alex.

"Our first cases were prepared and planned from my kitchen table, once we had a few cases under our belts we rented our office and the rest as they say is history." smiled Casey. "So are you sure you want to date someone who screwed up so royally?"

"Casey, I know SVU isn't easy and I made mistakes the Cavanaugh case will haunt me forever so I understand the desire for justice and just how easy it is to step over the line to get it. I am very sure I want to get to know you and date you." replied Alex drawing Casey in for a long kiss.

"Wow." moaned Casey as they separated. "We should head out, we have a busy day planned."

The drive to the aquarium was spent with Alex teasing Casey over her taste in music and her driving. "Be nice or I will make you walk." threatened Casey although they both knew there was no heat in the threat.

"No you wont." replied Alex as she continued to flick through Casey's Ipod. Arriving at the aquarium Casey took Alex's hand in hers as she lead them inside, smiling at the woman behind the counter they were waved through.

"So what are the rules for today?" asked Alex as they took in the display.

"You can ask anything you want and I will answer, but you have to remember that next week is my turn." replied Casey with a smile.

"Okay, so whats your favourite colour?"

"Green." replied Casey with a smile.

As they walked around the aquarium Alex asking Casey everything she could think of, "Favourite ice-cream flavour? Favourite book?, cats or dogs?, did she want children?, heels or flip-flops?, baseball or football, beach or museums?"

Casey answered each with a smile, "Vanilla, Going Postal by Terry Pratchett, yes two, both, baseball and both." After finishing their tour of the aquarium they stopped for lunch in Casey's favourite diner were back in the car. Pulling up outside a respectable house in a good part of the city Casey cut the engine and turned to address Alex.

"So I said I wanted you to get to know the real me, so this is my parents house. I promised we would stop in for a while. I know technically its our first date but if you want to know who I am this is the best way to find out."

"What if they hate me for the thing with the press?" asked Alex chewing her lip.

"They wont, I promise as far as they are concerned you absolved yourself when you made your press conference." smiled Casey. "I promise if you are having horrid time we can leave. Also my mom promised to find the Milky Bar pictures."

"Okay, let's do this." replied Alex opening her door.

Walking up the drive Casey held on to Alex's hand giving her a reassuring smile she opened the door and called out a greeting. Hearing a woman call from the garden they made their way through the house, Alex noticed all the family pictures, children's art work and hand drawn sketches of a variety of scenes from the beach to forests. Walking onto the decking she felt Casey give her hand a loving squeeze.

"Mom, dad this is Alex Cabot my girlfriend. Alex this is my mom Anne and my father David." after the introductions they were soon seated at the table sipping home-made Ice tea and sharing small talk.

"You have a lovely home, I especially like the sketches in the hallway." Smiled Alex.

"Cassandra did those, she's rather talented when she sits still long enough." replied Anne Novak with a proud look at her blushing daughter.

"You did those, they're amazing." smiled Alex.

"Thanks." mumbled Casey.

"She was telling me she was an angel as a child." said Alex aiming a smirk at Casey.

"Huh, did she tell you about the time she decided to spend the night in the museum?" asked Anne grinning at her daughter.

"No, what happened?" asked Alex leaning forward.

"Casey was obsessed with Egyptian mummies as a child and she would spend hours reading about them, watching documentaries and visiting them in museums. So when she was about thirteen she told us she was spending the night at a friends, something she often did so weren't all that worried at first."

Taking a drink she went on, "Nine o clock that night the phone rings and its the local police station, security at the museum found her with a sleeping bag, flashlight and supplies making camp next to the mummy case." By the time she had finished they were all laughing even a blushing Casey. Three hours later they were back in the car and according to Casey driving to their last location on the 'get to know Casey Novak tour.'

Pulling up to an apartment building Casey led the way inside and the two were soon in the elevator, unlocking the door Casey said, "Welcome to my humble abode."

Walking in Alex looked around the open plan apartment, it wasn't as big as hers but it felt more homely. The walls were decorated with family snaps, sports memorabilia and tasteful artwork, there were candles placed around the room and a base of fresh flowers on the dining room table. There was a book shelf filled with various books a stack of DVD's ranging from old black and white movies to modern classics such as Frozen and Pitch Perfect. "It's very you." replied Alex.

Casey watched nervously as Alex looked around, her apartment wasn't as large or as stylish as the blondes but it was home and she wanted Alex to like it. Smiling as the blonde walked her back until her knee's hit the sofa, collapsing back Alex straddled her lap and claimed her lips in a blistering kiss.

"I love it. I had an amazing day and I have to say Casey Novak I am very much looking forward to continuing to get to know you."

"Will you stay tonight? Not for that I would just like to hold you." Asked Casey with a nervous smile.

"I would love to." Smiled Alex as they relaxed on the couch watching movies and eating Pizza before spending the night cuddled together, wearing matching smiles.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N; I have no idea when Alex or Casey's birthdays are so I made them up, it is fiction after all.**

Waking up Sunday morning Casey smiled down at the blonde asleep on her chest, as she thought back to the day before, she knew she had strong feelings for Alex and after yesterday she was sure the blonde felt the same way. Slipping from the blondes embrace she watched as Alex mumbled in her sleep but didn't wake and headed for the kitchen, putting on some coffee she set about getting the ingredients for blueberry pancakes together. Turning on the radio she was soon dancing around the kitchen lost in the rhythm of the music, belting out the chorus to 'Roar' she was startled by a soft laugh, tuning she saw a grinning Alex leaning against the door frame.

Alex had woken up alone and hearing the music coming from the kitchen was mesmerised by the sight of Casey in her sleep shorts and wife beater dancing around the kitchen, the way Casey swayed her hips and tilted her head back had sent a jolt of electricity to her core. "So I'm guessing today's Casey fact is, 'I enjoy the musical stylings of Katy Perry?"

Giving an embarrassed chuckle Casey looked down at the floor, "What can I say? I like a little pop in the mornings."

Walking towards the blushing redhead Alex gently tilted her chin up and claimed her lips in a soft kiss. "I've come to realise I like a little Casey in mine." Smirked Alex as the kiss ended.

"Then I'm happy to give _anything_ you want." Replied Casey her voice becoming husky as she felt Alex's hands snake under her shirt.

"Make love to me." Whispered Alex against Casey's lips.

"Are you sure?" Asked Casey, "There's no rush."

"I'm sure." Replied Alex claiming Casey's lips in a hard kiss.

Braking the kiss Casey held her hand out to Alex and led her into the bedroom, gently shutting the door Casey led Alex to the bed and laid her down gently before claiming her lips in a tender kiss. Leaning back she stared down at Alex, "You're so beautiful." Before pressing a trail of gentle kisses along the blondes throat.

With each kiss Alex felt the heat in her stomach building she had never felt such hunger from just a kiss before, as Casey continued to kiss her way down her body. Taking her time to explore every inch of skin that was revealed as she pulled the long Mets jersey Alex had used to sleep in over her head.

Taking a dusky nipple in her mouth Casey's used her tongue to tease the bud to a stiff peak before trailing light kisses across to the other already stiff nipple. Repeating the action she loved the way Alex arched into her pushing more of herself into her mouth. As she kissed downwards the scent of Alex's arousal reached her, hooking her thumbs in the waistband of Alex's lacy panties she slid them down the blondes long legs. Before kissing her way back up and ruining her tongue through the blondes wet folds.

Gripping Casey's hair in her hand all thought was driven from Alex's mind as Casey's talented tongue traced soft patterns across her sensitive clit. Arching her back Alex was loudly chanting Casey's name as the heat built to a crescendo.

She felt Casey's lips on hers as she held her until she regained her breathing, "That was, you are amazing."

"Your not so bad yourself." grinned Casey as Alex twisted in her embrace she leaned down and drew her in for a gentle kiss.

Alex moaned as she tasted herself on Casey's lips, "Casey you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

"Not as beautiful as you." Replied Casey blushing.

"You're not good with compliments are you?" Asked Alex as she pushed Casey down and straddled her waist. Rocking her centre against Casey's she leaned down and took a straining nipple into her mouth.

Moaning at the sensations the blonde was inflicting on her Casey felt herself getting wetter by the second, "Please Alex."

Letting go of Casey's nipple with an audible 'pop' Alex grinned, "Please what?"

"Touch me." Begged Casey arching her back in an attempt to gain some relief from the aching between her legs.

Smirking Alex replied, "Patients." As she began kissing Casey's neck and down her chest dragging her teeth across a stiff nipple and then soothing it with the flat of her tongue and repeating the action the other side.

"Are you trying to kill me?" Panted Casey as Alex swirled her tongue around a stiff nipple.

"No, I just want to taste every inch of your skin." Replied the blonde placing kisses in random places across Casey's torso and the tops of her thighs.

"God." Gasped Casey as Alex ran the flat of her tongue across her hot centre.

Pulling back Alex smirked, "Alex will do there's no need to be formal." Laughing as Casey gave a frustrated sigh.

Deciding to take pity on the writhing woman beneath her Alex settled between Casey's legs and ran her tongue through the gathered wetness, purring at the taste and began to flick her tongue against Casey's already sensitive clit, before sucking it into her mouth, entering the redhead with two fingers, curling them it took just a few thrusts for Casey to cum screaming Alex's name.

Kissing her way back up to Casey's mouth they shared a lazy kiss as Casey pulled Alex in to her arms, "That was amazing, I'm glad we waited."

Chuckling Alex replied, "Yeah because we waited such a long time."

"Hey you seduced me, I'm the innocent party." Teased Casey before kissing the top of Alex's head.

"This time." Replied Alex leaning up on her elbow she looked down at Casey and couldn't believe the strength of her feelings already, as she stared into Casey's beautiful green eyes she found herself blinking back tears.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Asked Casey as she pulled the blinder close.

"Nothing's wrong. I just can't believe how amazing you are and that you like me." Replied Alex.

"Alex, I know it's quick but believe me when I say I really like you." Smiled Casey.

"I really like you to." Smiled the blonde. "So what have you got planned for today?"

"I was planning to spend the day with my beautiful girlfriend. Unless she had plans?"

"Actually, I had plans to spend the day with my girlfriend." Smirked Alex.

Rolling her eyes Casey drew Alex in for a gentle kiss, "How about I make us some breakfast and we curl up and watch movies in bed all day?" Suggested Casey.

"Sounds perfect." Replied Alex. "Do you want some help in the kitchen?"

Laughing Casey replied, "No, I like my kitchen the way it is."

Pouting Alex replied, "I make good coffee."

"Okay, you make the coffee and I'll make the pancakes." Replied Casey as they climbed out of bed and pulled on some clothes.

Forty minutes later they were back in bed eating blueberry pancakes, enjoying Alex's coffee and sharing the Sunday paper. As Alex watched Casey laugh at the comic strip she found herself thinking this was the perfect way to spend a Sunday.

"Ohh listen to this, 'Your love life will take a take a turn for the better as one you once considered an enemy becomes something more.'"

"You believe that drivel?" Asked Alex with a derisive laugh.

"You don't?" Asked Casey with a serious look. "I don't leave the house without checking with Mystic Meg."

"Haha, it's all mambo jumbo." Replied the blonde.

"Okay what's your sign?" Asked Casey.

"Nope." Replied the blonde.

"Please?" Pouted Casey unleashing her puppy dog eyes.

"Fine, in a Libra." Replied Alex.

"The scales how appropriate, here we go, 'A business opportunity will test you, if you have the courage to grasp it then good things will follow.' maybe Branch is going to retire and you're going to become the new DA." Grinned Casey.

Rolling her eyes Alex took the paper from Casey's hands and claimed her lips in a kiss, "How about we work off breakfast and not debate the merits of horoscopes?"

"You want to go for a run?" Asked Casey with a grin which soon turned into a moan of pleasure as Alex dragged her teeth across her earlobe and whispered. "I have a better idea." Kissing down Casey's throat.

"I like your idea better." Grinned Casey flipping them so she was above Alex and claimed her lips in a bruising kiss.

After a morning of making love they shared a steamy shower before cuddling on the sofa watching black and white movies, sharing kisses and easy conversation. After dinner Alex reluctantly got ready to leave, "I wish I didn't have to leave but I have court at eight and I don't want to risk being late."

"Are you sure I can't drive you home?" Offered Casey.

"No it's fine, I've got a cab coming. There's no point in you having to go out when you don't need to."

"It's no trouble." Seeing Alex about to reply she gave a small smile, "Fine, just promise to call me when you get home?" Asked Casey sadly as she walked Alex to the door.

Pressing a kiss to Casey's lips, "I promise. Thank you for a wonderful weekend."

"Anytime." Whispered Casey.

Waking up Monday morning Casey realised she had spent the night cuddled against the pillow Alex had used, grinning she though, oh yeah I've got it bad.

After texting Alex good morning and her Casey fact, 'My favourite book as a child was Alice in Wonderland.' Reading Alex's reply 'I've never been on a roller coaster.' she grinned and began forming a plan to get Alex on a roller coaster.

After a quick shower and she headed into the office, glad it was Jane's turn to pick up the coffee this week. She was greeted by the grinning blonde holding out a large hazel nut coffee, "Morning Cassandra."

"Really? You're dropping the C bomb this early in the week?" Asked Casey with a smile as she took the coffee and hung up her jacket.

"As I spent my Sunday here dealing with the Miles case then you bet I am. Especially when I could have spent it in bed with a certain beautiful brunette Detective. How about you? Good weekend?" Asked Jane as she studied her friend, in the years she had known Casey she hadn't seen her as happy as she was now.

"It was perfect." Replied Casey. "How was your weekend? Other than working yesterday?" Asked Casey with a smile.

"It was perfect." Repeated the blonde with a grin. "Dinner went great and then...well let's just say that woman is amazing."

"So you and Liv?" Asked Casey smiling as Jane blushed a deep red at the mention of the Detectives name.

"She is something else." Replied Jane. "I've never felt this way before, it's more than just lust it's like she is the person I've been waiting for." Sighing she ran a hand through her hair before groaning, "God I sound like you."

"That's a good thing right? Not sounding like me the Liv thing?" Asked Casey knowing Jane had a tendency to run from commitment.

"It's a very good thing." Smiled the blonde.

"Good, so what's on the agenda this week?" Asked Casey turning their attention towards business matters, even as they discussed their open cases Casey could hold in her smile as thoughts of Alex kept filling her mind.

As Alex walked out of court she heard someone call her name, looking up she saw Liv holding up a cup of coffee, taking a healthy sip she smiled, "You're a life saver."

"I know." Smirked Liv. "So how was your weekend?"

"It was amazing, I really like her. What about you? How was dinner with Jane?" Grinning she added, "Did you have to restrain her?"

"Haha, it was lovely the entire weekend was perfect. I like her."

"Like her as in want to have steamy sex with her or like her as in want to date her with a view to marry her and have lots of babies together?" Asked Alex knowing Liv's reputation for being commitment shy.

"It might be a littler early for the M word but I defiantly want to see where it goes." Smiled Liv.

"So did you bring me coffee just to have 'girl talk' or do you need something?" As Liv turned the conversation to work matters Alex couldn't stop smiling as images from the weekend and thoughts of Casey filled her mind.


	14. Chapter 14

As both women had busy weeks they were only able to meet for a quick lunch on Wednesday and arranged to meet up for a drink Friday night with Liv and Jane. They had spoken everyday on the phone as well as exchanging their daily facts.

**'I'm allergic to strawberries. Have a good day, Casey. Xx'**

**'Its a good thing I don't like them then. I only drink hot chocolate when I'm sick. Xx.'**

**'I read comic books, I especially love WonderWoman. Xx'**

**'I always knew you were a bigger geek than me Cassandra. Seeing the Northern Lights is an ambition of mine. Xx'**

**'My first pet was a rabbit called casserole, I assure you I was a normal child really... Xx'**

**'Of course you were...As a child I always wanted a tree house. Xx'**

**'As a child I had an Imaginary friend called Sam he was an archaeologist and we would spend hours looking for buried treasure. Xx'**

**'Oh Casey, you were such a cool kid. I've never watched a Star Wars film. Xx'**

Thanks to a last minute phone call from a distressed client Casey and Jane arrived at the bar after Alex and Liv. After going to the bar Casey and Liv went to play pool hoping the two blondes would bond.

"So you and Casey," Asked Jane watching the taller blonde over the top of her wine glass.

"So you and Liv?" Replied Alex returning the look Jane was sending her.

A small smile tugged at Jane's lips. "You won't hurt her will you? Because I'm pretty sure I could kick your ass."

"Funny I was going to say the same to you." Replied Alex with a raised eyebrow.

"We could do this all night." Groaned Jane taking a sip of wine she looked over at Casey and Liv who were playing pool and smiled at the sight of the Detective laughing freely at something Casey had said. She hadn't known Liv all that long but she could tell she was someone who hurt for the victims who she dealt with daily, so seeing her smile and laugh freely warmed her heart.

Alex watched Jane as she looked at Liv and saw the same look on her face as Liv had on hers when she talked about the fiery blonde. Sighing she said, "I won't hurt Casey, I really like her. She is smart, kind and funny. Every time I learn something new about her I find myself falling for her just a bit more."

Smiling at the woman opposite her Jane replied, "I can see that you like her and I can see she likes you, I worry about her after her censure I was afraid she would do something stupid and I never want to see her hurting like that again. As for Liv, I think I fell for her the moment she flashed those big brown eyes at me. I won't hurt her and I will do my best to always sooth her pain her job causes and make her smile."

"Good she needs someone like you." Smiled Alex, holding her glass up as in a toast she said, "Here's to the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

Clinking their glasses together they were soon engaged in easy conversation sharing stories of law school, court room drama and gossiping about their pool playing girlfriends.

As Liv waited for Casey to take her shot she looked over to make sure Jane and Alex were okay, nudging Casey with the end of her pool cue Liv tilted her head at the two blondes deep in conversation and laughing at something only they could hear.

Scowling at her friend for making her miss her shot Casey turned to see what her friend was pointing at, "That's good, I'm glad they seem to be getting along."

"Me two, although if I was you I would be worried." Replied Liv taking her shot.

"Why?" Asked Casey as she smirked at Liv's spectacular miss, which may have had something to do with her cue 'slipping' and hitting Liv's ass Just as she struck the cue ball.

"Because they've both slept with you and now they're in hysterics." Smirked the Detective as Casey miss-hit the white ball sending it bouncing off the edge of the table and rolling towards where the two laughing blondes sat.

Glaring at her smirk friends and blushing a deep shade of red Casey replied, "I hate you Benson, I hope you know that." Before heading off to collect the ball Liv's laughter ringing in her ears.

After several drinks and bar snacks they said their goodbyes to Liv and Jane. As they walked the few blocks to Alex's apartment they held hands and made small talk, both silently marvelling at just how comfortable they were in the others company.

After taking quick showers they settled on the sofa with a cup of tea, "So what do you have planned for tomorrow?" Asked Casey smiling as Alex snuggled closer.  
"If I was to tell you it wouldn't be a surprise." Grinned the blonde.

"Please?" Pouted Casey.

"Nope. " smirked Alex.

Pressing small butterfly kisses along Alex's throat and up to her ear Casey whispered, "Please?"

As she felt Casey's mouth on her skin Alex gave a soft moan, "This is straight up coercion."

Gently nipping the blondes earlobe with her teeth she asked, "Would you like me to stop?"

Rather than reply verbally Alex leaned up and claimed Casey's lips in a soft kiss, tangling her fingers in Casey's hair she deepened the kiss. Braking apart they were both breathless, "Shall we take this to the bedroom?"

Smirking Casey replied, "Only if you tell me what you have planned for tomorrow, this is coercion after all."

"Jerk." Muttered Alex standing she turned and gave Casey a smirk, "Guess I'll have to start alone." She laughed as Casey's jaw dropped, "Don't keep me waiting too long."

Casey watched as Alex sashayed towards the bedroom, "Oh my god she is going to kill me." Whispered Casey before standing and following the blonde.

Walking in she stopped when she Alex laying in the middle of the bed wearing a silky black chemise and a wide smile, "I knew you couldn't resist."

As Casey took in the sight before her she couldn't help but smile at how lucky she was, "Smug much Cabot."

Walking over to the bed Casey undid the robe she was wearing leaving her in nothing but a wife beater and black panties as she laid down she began trailing kisses along Alex's jaw and down her throat. Pushing Casey down on to the bed Alex quickly removed the rest of her clothes and slid her silk nighty over her head leaving them both naked. Trailing her fingertips across Casey's already hard nipples, down across her stomach and thighs she smiled at the goosebumps that rose in reaction to her touch. "So damn beautiful."

"Kiss me Alexandra." Replied Casey, moaning as Alex leaned down and claimed her lips in a tender kiss.

Bring her mouth down to Casey's sensitive nipple Alex used her tongue to tease it before nipping the stiff bud with her teeth and soothing it with her tongue.

"Oh Alex. Oh dear god..." Panted Casey arching up off the bed.

"Something I can do for you?" Asked Alex with a smug grin as she lightly rolled Casey's nipples between her finger and thumb.

"It's not nice to tease." Replied Casey with a grin of her own.

"I'm not teasing just enjoying taking my time to enjoy my beautiful girlfriend." Replied Alex bringing her mouth back down Casey's straining nipples, smiling as she felt Casey buck against her.

Alex began kissing down across Casey's chest and stomach, moaning as the scent of Casey's arousal reached her. Kissing her way down one pale thigh before kissing her way back up the other thigh before running her tongue thorough the redheads wet folds moaning at the taste.

Feeling her Alex's mouth on her Casey threw her head back and gave a loud moan at the sensations Alex was sending through her body. Bucking her hips as Alex sucked her clit into her mouth it didn't take long for Casey to reach her first orgasm. Before she could recover she felt Alex enter her with two fingers and start to tease her clit with the tip of her tongue the gentle strokes on the already sensitive bud causing her to moan loudly.

"Oh god Alex! Yes!" Screamed Casey as her second orgasm quickly rocked through her body.

Kissing her way back to Casey's lips Alex propped herself up on an elbow and looked down at her panting girlfriend.

"What are you looking so smug about?" Asked Casey with a grin once she had regained her breathing.

"I was just thinking how lucky I am, you are so beautiful Casey. Thank you for giving me a chance." Replied Alex her voice cracking with emotion.

Startled at the emotion in the blondes voice Casey flipped them so she was above the blonde and asked "Alex what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm just so happy to have met you." Replied Alex smiling at the woman above her.

"I'm happy to have met you to Alex. Now tell me where we're going tomorrow."

"Not a chance." Replied Alex.

Laughing at the pouting redhead Alex drew her in for another bruising kiss causing Casey to moan at the taste of herself on Alex's mouth.

Braking the kiss Casey guided Alex into a kneeling position above her waiting mouth, seeing what Casey had in mind Alex shivered in anticipation. Seeing Casey give a grin Alex lowered her throbbing centre onto Casey's waiting mouth, she began to roll her hips pinching her hard nipples between her thumb and finger, the joint sensations causing her to cum hard and flop down next to Casey.

"Wow! That was..AMAZING." Mumbled Alex as she pulled Casey in to her arms.

Waking up the next morning Alex instructed Casey to dress comfortably and the two were soon in the car heading for the first stop on Alex's tour. Pulling up outside a dinner Alex turned to Casey, "This is one of my favourite places in New York, I come here most weekends and have a lazy breakfast and read or watch the world go by. They do the best pancakes."

"Good I'm starving." Smiled Casey taking Alex's outstretched hand. Walking in to the dinner Casey looked around the dinner, never in a million years would she have expected someone of Alex's social standing to eat in such a rustic place. She was about to ask Alex about it when the waitress approached them greeting Alex with a hug she settled for just smiling at the blonde as she followed her to a table.

After a breakfast filled with laughter and easy conversation they were back in the car and on their way to the next location. Pulling up in the car park of a cemetery Alex took her time turning off the engine as if getting her thoughts together. Taking a deep breath she turned to address Casey, "My parents are buried here and so was I."

"Alex..."

"It's fine, come on." Getting out of the car Alex picked up the bunch of flowers from the back seat and the two walked in silence until they came to a grave under a large tree. "Okay so you said you wanted to know the real Alex Cabot.."

"I believe I said Alexandra actually." Smirked Casey.

"My apologies Cassandra." Smiled Alex her smile slipping as she looked back down at the headstone marking her mother's grave and the blank to stone next to it that had once held her name.

"The real me is a selfish, arrogant ass. My mother died thinking I was dead, she died alone because I was too stubborn to walk away from a case. People always ask if I was frightened when I was shot and I was but mostly I was angry because I hurt the people I loved through my arrogance. Liv, Elliott, Liz hell even McCoy told me to step back and hand it over to the Feds but I wouldn't and because of that I lost years with my mom, my friends and years as me. Then I came back and tried to pick up where I left off and when I couldn't I went to the Congo but it still didn't fit, until you nothing felt right. It's like who I was and who I am are not just different people but totally separate people, so I can't show you the real Alexandra Cabot because I'm not sure who she is anymore or if you will like her."

"Alex.."

"So now you know I'm not all that special." Interrupted Alex looking down at her hands. "If you want to walk away I wouldn't blame you."

"Alex, please look at me." Once Alex was looking at her Casey gently wiped her tears with her thumb. "Alexandra, I'm willing to bet your mother is proud of you." Seeing Alex about to interrupt she held her hand up.

"Let me finish, you're an amazing person, not many people would risk their lives in the Congo searching for justice, or work do tiresomely for the victim no matter the cost. You are an amazing prosecutor both tough and sensitive. In no way are you a bad person and at some point you're going to have to stop blaming yourself for the things that were beyond your control."

Blinking back her tears Alex asked, "Would you mind if we just went home? I'm not really up to finishing my plans today, I promise we will just not now."

"I don't mind at all, as long as you promise to let me hold you until you feel better?" Bargained Casey. Seeing Alex nod she said, "I'll give you a few minutes." Pressing a soft kiss to Alex's forehead she walked back to the bench my the gate leaving Alex in relative privacy.

"Hey, I'm sorry I've not been up for a while. I miss you both so much and if I could turn back time then I would. Thank you for everything you did for me, I'm sorry if I ever let you down." Swallowing back her tears she went on, "I've met someone and I really like her, she is so different from anyone I've ever known before she makes me want to be a better person. I love you both and I'm proud to be your daughter."

Casting one last glance at the stone Alex stood and walked back to Casey and allowed her to lead her back to the car. For the first time since the shooting Alex found herself not wanting to run, she had someone willing to offer her love and comfort and as she felt Casey give her hand a reassuring squeeze she felt as if she was home.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N; I'm so pleased you all like this story. Beware of L bombs.**

Arriving back at Alex's apartment Casey led them to the couch and pulled Alex into her arms, holding her as the emotions of the day caught up with her. Once the blondes tears had subsided Casey continues to run her fingers through her hair and whisper words of affection.

"I'm sorry, I guess you didn't get to know me the way you hoped." Said Alex from her spot in a Casey's arms her head resting on Casey's chest.

"Actually I think I got to know the real you, thank you for letting me see the real Alexandra Cabot." Replied Casey.

"I'm surprised you're still here now you know what a mess I am." Replied Alex, with a harsh laugh she added, "Who knew the Ice Queen had feelings."

"Stop it, you're not the Ice Queen. You're allowed to have emotions and be irrational at times, hell you can even be cold at times. You know why." Seeing Casey shake her head she said, "Because you're human and a damn fine human at that."

Laughing Alex drew Casey in for a loving kiss, "So what else to you want to know?"

"Everything." Replied Casey, before asking, "What's your middle name?"

"Elizabeth, after my god mother." Replied Alex smiling as she realised what Casey had in mind, "What's yours?"

"Anne, after my mom." Replied Casey.

"What is your dream holiday destination?" Asked Alex.

"Italy or London." Replied Casey. "I know you want to see the Northern Lights, so what's your favourite Shakespeare play?"

"A Midsummer Night's Dream. What's your guilty pleasure to watch on TV?"

"Ice Road Truckers." Replied Casey with a grin.

"You're so strange." Laughed Alex.

"Fine what's yours?" Asked Casey with a pout.

Smiling Alex placed a gentle kiss on Casey's mouth, "Drop Dead Diva." Grinned Alex.

"Really? You think I'm strange? A guilty pleasure is meant to be something to take your mind off work and you pick a law based show."

"I like it, they always close the case in fifty minutes and there is always a happy ending." Replied the blonde.

"I've never seen it, but Jane loves it." Replied Casey.

"I have the box set, can we watch it please?" Asked Alex with puppy dog eyes.

"Anything for you. How about I go get us some really unhealthy snacks and we curl up and watch your DVDs?"

"That sounds good, want me to come with you?" Asked Alex.

"I don't mind either way." Smiled Casey.

"I think I'll take a shower and change into my sweats." Smiled Alex loving how relaxed she felt with Casey. It was so different to all of her previous relationships, there was no awkward need to stand on ceremony or to constantly impress each other and watch how she behaved. She could just be her and she knew Casey would still want to be around her.

"Okay then, is there anything you like or don't like?" Asked Casey pulling on her jacket.

"Fizzy cola bottles are my favourite, especially the cherry ones." Smiled Alex. Walking over to the draw she held a key out to Casey, "I'm not U-hauling don't panic, it's incase I'm still in the shower when you get back."

After sharing a gentle kiss Alex headed for the shower, as she stood under the spray she found herself thinking about Casey. The more time they spent together the more the redhead broke down her walls and made Alex feel alive again. For a long time after the shooting and even once she came back she felt as if her life was on hold all her plans, marriage, children, holidays all seemed as if they were someone else's dreams. Yet as she spent time with Casey those dreams felt like hers again and she could see a future filled with love.

She wanted to tell Casey how she felt but was afraid it was too soon and she would look like a fool if Casey didn't feel the same, although she was sure the redhead had feelings for her as well. Maybe she should tell Casey? For far to long she had put off taking chances and living her life, it was time to make a stand and start fighting for what she wanted and she wanted Casey.

Stepping out of the shower she was just drying her hair when she heard the door open and Casey call out a greeting, smiling she made her way into the lounge and laughed at the amount of unhealthy food laid out on her coffee table, complete with two bags of fizzy cherry cola bottles.

"Did you buy the store?" Asked Alex as she claimed Casey's lips in a sweet kiss.

"I wanted to make sure my lady had everything she could possibly want." Replied Casey with a grin.

Every time Casey called her something like that Alex felt a swarm of butterflies in her stomach, putting in the DVD she walked back and settled on the couch leaning against the arm she pulled Casey against her they ate junk food and watched the first few episodes of Drop Dead Diva.

About four episode into the first season Casey was confused, "Alex, I don't get this, how can she have Jane's knowledge but not her memories." Getting no response she turned and smiled when she saw Alex had fallen asleep, smiling at how cute and peaceful the blonde looked she leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek.

As she pulled back Alex opened her eyes and pressed a gentle but firm kiss to Casey's lips. "Hey sleepy head." Smiled Casey.

"Don't talk, kiss me again." Husked the blonde, seeing Casey about to say something she added. "Please."

Bringing their lips together once again, Casey moaned as Alex tangle her fingers in her hair and drew her closer deepening the kiss. As their tongues battled for dominance Casey ran her hands under the blondes shirt moaning as her fingertips brushed against the blonde braless breasts.

Feeling Casey slid her hands under her t-shirt and across her braless breasts Alex arched in to her asking "Bedroom?"

Feeling Casey nod she stood and held out her hand, flicking off the tv and lights she led Casey to her bedroom. Alex pushed her back on the bed and claimed her lips in a heated kiss, before kissing along her jaw and whispering "I'm so wet for you." in her ear. Gently nipping her earlobe between her teeth.

Shivering at the blondes words Casey bit down on the blondes pulse point hard enough to leave a mark, soothing it with her tongue. As she felt Alex's hands running over her body Casey's skin felt like it was in fire. Ever time they touched of kissed it felt to Casey as if there was nothing in the world but the two of them.

As Alex slipped Casey shirt over her head she wanted nothing more than to taste the pale skin now exposed to her. "You are so damn beautiful." Whispered Alex before claiming her lips in another searing kiss.

Trailing her fingertips across Casey stomach Alex reached round and flicked the clasps on Casey bra open, pulling back from the kiss she looked in to Casey's eyes dark with lust as she slid the bra straps down to revel pale pink nipples straining for attention.

Dragging her teeth across the stiff buds before soothing them with her tongue, she smiled when she felt Casey arch into her touch and start tugging at the shirt she wore, sitting up Alex pulled her t-shirt over her head watching as Casey traced her fingertips over Alex's hard nipples.

"You're perfect." Whispered Casey. "So beautiful."

Moaning at the sensation Alex claimed Casey's lips in a fierce kiss, before placing open-mouthed kissed down Casey's pale toned stomach. Reaching the button on the redheads jeans she looked up and Casey and smiled, "I've wanted to do this all day."

"Me to, please don't tease me, I need to feel you." Panted Casey.

Leaning down to unbuttoning Casey's jeans she pulled them down along with the redheads soaked panties dropping them to the floor. Looking down at Casey laying naked before her Alex didn't think she had ever seen anything so beautiful, sliding her own trousers and underwear off Alex climbed back on the bed and began kissing Casey with renewed fever.

Moaning at the feeling of skin to skin contact Alex trailed her hand across Casey's stomach before running her fingers trough the redheads wet folds. Moaning at the slickness that covered her fingers, Alex repeated the action several times each time applying the lightest of touches to Casey's clit, causing the redhead to buck and whimper with need.

"Oh God! Alex please touch me." Panted Casey.

Giving Casey one more slow passionate kiss Alex slid two long fingers into Casey's waiting heat, causing the her to moan at the sensation of fullness. Giving her lover a second to adjust Alex began to slowly pump in and out of Casey causing her back to arch, leaning down she took a stiff nipple into her mouth and flicked it with her tongue. Sensing Casey was close to the edge Alex used her thumb to brush against Casey's sensitive clit and curled her fingers finding that sweet spot she knew would tip Casey over the edge. It took just minutes for Casey to cum screaming Alex's name.

Waiting until Casey had caught her breath Alex, pressed butterfly kisses along her jaw before capturing her lips in a slow gentle kiss.

Getting her breath back Casey said "Wow, it keeps getting better."

"Good." replied Alex before placing gentle kisses down Casey's stomach sliding her shoulder under Casey's thighs Alex ran her tongue through the newly pooled wetness before entering the blonde with two fingers and sucking her clit into her mouth, it didn't take long for Casey to cum again.

After regaining her bearings Casey flipped them and leaned down claiming Alex's lips in a gentle kiss, moaning as she tasted herself on Alex's mouth.

Kissing her way down Alex's throat and across her nipples Casey grinned as Alex arched into her searching for some release from the growing heat in her stomach. Pressing soft kisses down Alex's stomach and thighs, she ran her tongue through her wetness, purring at the taste of the blondes excitement.

Feeling Casey's mouth on her Alex arched her back and tangle her fingers in Casey's hair pulling her up for a bruising kiss. Smirking at Alex's reactions Casey entered her with two fingers whilst her thumb teased her sensitive clit, it didn't take long for Alex to cum screaming Casey's name.

Collapsing next to the panting blonde, Casey gave a throaty chuckle, "That was amazing, you're amazing."

"Right back at you Novak." Replied Alex with a yawn.

Pulling Alex into her arms Casey placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and began stroking Alex's skin in random patterns. As she watched Alex sleep Casey felt her heart constrict with love she knew she fallen for Alex and she so desperately wanted to tell the blonde how she felt but she was afraid it was too soon and she would frighten Alex off and lose her.

As she trailed her fingertips up and down the slumbering woman's back she whispered, "I love you Alexandra Elizabeth Cabot, even if you only drink hot chocolate when you're sick, are stubborn, watch Disney movies and hate Baseball."

Alex was half asleep when she heard Casey stat to speak, as she listed to the redheads words she couldn't hold back the smile that spread across her face, propping herself up on her elbow she replied, "I love you to Cassandra Anne Novak, even though you are a massive sports mad geek, who tried to spend a night in a museum and sings to Katy Perry songs."


	16. Chapter 16

They had spent the night making love, talking and napping, waking up the following morning Alex looked down at Casey who was still holding her tight despite Alex moving about in the night, in fact she mused she seemed to sleep without nightmares when ever she spent the night with Casey. There were weeks when she would wake up each night sweating the echo of gun shots and the smell of cordite haunting her. As she watched Casey's face twitch in her sleep she thought about their declarations of love the night before, she knew she was in love with Casey and was excited for the future. She knew it might not be all flowers and romance but for the first time in a long time she felt like Alexandra Cabot. She felt like she was in control of her life and it was never going to be taken from her again, she could make plans safe in the knowledge that she would be there to enjoy them.

There had been times in witness protection when she felt as if it would have been better for the bullet to have really killed her. On birthdays, holidays and bad days she would lament her luck at being alive but not being herself, not being able to be with her friends, with her family. When she received the news of her mother's death it was almost more than she could take and for the first time in her life she considered the possibility of ending it all. The guilt and anger joining forces to push her beyond her limits, she felt lonely, betrayed, afraid all those feeling had swirled around her head as she laid on the bed in the house pretending to be somebody else.

She remembered standing and walking into the bathroom rummaging through the medication cabinet pulling out the pain killers and sleeping pills the doctor had prescribed and taking them into the bedroom along with a bottle of whiskey. Opening the bottle she poured a large measure as she began to write her goodbyes. She wrote to Liv, her Uncle Bill and Elizabeth Donnelly each letter braking her heart a little more. Opening the pill bottles she poured them out into a neat little pile, just as she was about to start swallowing them when she found out Velez had died in prison and Connors was extradited to Ireland.

She hadn't realised she was crying and till she heard cases soft voice, "Alex, what's wrong?"

"I was just remembering the day I found out my mom had died, how close I came to.."

"Alex did you try to hurt yourself?" Asked Casey.

"I thought about it." Admitted Alex in a quiet voice.

Pulling the blonde in to her arms and held her tight, "Do you want to tell me about it? You don't have to, but I am here for you always."

"I came close to taking a bunch of pills." Admitted Alex in a whisper.

"How close?" Asked Casey with love and fear in her voice in equal measure.

Alex swallowed deeply looking into Casey's beautiful green eyes she could see nothing but love taking a deep breath she told her everything. She told her how she had heard the news of her mother's death, how she couldn't go to funeral no matter what she threatened, how she felt so alone and lost. She told Casey how hard it was to get up everyday, the nightmares, the flash backs and the constant sense of fear she had felt at being recognised.

She told Casey how when she first came back she still didn't feel like herself, how she felt as if she had failed her friends and family. How she thought going to the Congo would give her a purpose, give her a chance to make up for all the victims she had failed whilst working as an insurance clerk. How she had enjoyed the challenge but felt as if she was drowning in loneliness so decided to come back to New York. It was the acts of courage she had seen everyday whilst in Africa that helped her start to fix her relationships with Liv and the squad.

She explained that before she met Casey and even when she started to get to know her she was afraid of starting a relationship with someone. She was afraid, because she couldn't believe that she would never have to just walk away and become someone else again. She was afraid that if she fell in love and had children she would be forced to leave again and it would be too much for her and she wouldn't survive it.

When she had finished both women were in tears Casey pulled Alex close against her chest, "Alex, I promise I will always protect you and you will never feel alone again."  
"What if I let you down?" Asked Alex in a small voice.

"You won't. Actually you might and I might let you down and I'm positive we will fight and drive each other crazy at times, but that doesn't mean we will walk away. I know it might seem quick bit I love you and I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to take you to see the Northern Lights, make you hot chocolate when you're sick and be the first person to take you on a roller coaster."

"Casey..." Whispered Alex blinking back tears.

"No let me finish. I want to have children with you and spend the rest of our lives getting to know each other."

Pulling Casey in for a kiss she whispered, "Make love to me. Please Casey make me yours."

Understanding what Alex wanted Casey gently kissed her, before nipping her bottom lip with her teeth before soothing it with her tongue. Laying Alex back against the pillows as she trailed butterfly kisses along Alex's jaw and down the pale skin of her throat, biting down on her pulse point hard enough to leave a small mark.

Working her way back up to Alex's soft lips she drew back and looked into Alex's blue eyes, darkened with emotion, lust and full of love she pulled her in for a deep kiss, revelling in the feeling of Alex's skin on hers. As Alex reached out to touch her Casey gently pinned her hands above her head and shock her head, "This is all for you, let me show you how much I love you."

"But..." Alex's objections were cut off by a gentle kiss to the mouth.

"Let me show you how special you are." Seeing Alex nod she leaned down and once again claiming the blondes lips in a heated kiss. Letting her hands roam all over the blondes exquisite body, before trailing kisses across Alex's chest. Leaning down she took a staining nipple into her mouth flicking it with her tongue, before placing butterfly kisses across to the other nipple.

As she began to kiss her way down her lovers body she felt a gentle tug on her hair, "I want to see you."

Nodding Casey positioned herself above the blonde, running her fingers through the gathered wetness she teased her lovers opening with her fingertips and brushed her thumb gently across Alex's swollen clit. Causing Alex to moan in pleasure at feeling Casey gently enter her in a slow smooth stroke.

Stilling her movements until Alex opened her eyes she made sure they were looking at each other as she moved her fingers in a slow rhythm, as she felt Alex start to tremble as she brought her to her first orgasm.

Holding Alex until she regained her breathing she started placing open mouth kisses down the blondes body, reaching her destination Casey felt her stomach tighten as the scent of Alex's arousal hit her. Running her tongue through the waiting wetness, she purred at the taste, flicking her tongue against Alex's already sensitive clit, before sucking it into her mouth, entering Alex with two and then three fingers curling them it took just a few thrusts for the blonde to come undone for a second time.

Working her way back up to Alex's mouth she was shocked to see fresh tears on The blondes cheek, "Alex?"

"That was perfect. I have never felt so...so safe and loved. You're amazing."

Pulling Alex onto her chest Casey replied, "I love you Alex."

Yawning Alex replied, "I love you to." Before pulling the covers over them, wrapped in each others arms and drifted to sleep before waking up and making love again. After taking a long walk through the park and heading back to Alex's apartment where they spent another night in each other's arms.

**Three months later.**  
In the three months since their admissions of love Casey and Alex's relationship had continued to grow and they spent most nights together and their weekends continuing getting to know each other. Most Friday evenings would find them at the bar with Liv and Jane enjoying drinks and time away from the stress of works with their friends. Alex had become a regular fixture at family dinner at the Novak's and had even been roped into playing softball on 'Team Novak' at the family picnic.

Sitting at her desk on a sunny Thursday afternoon Casey was dragged from her thoughts of the blonde and their plans for a weekend away to celebrate their three-month anniversary by the ringing of her cell phone. Not recognising the number she frowned as she answered, "Casey Novak."

"Casey it's Elliott, there was an incident at the court house. Liv's been shot and Alex was hurt, can you and Jane meet us at Mercy."

Casey was scrambling for her purse and jacket as she replied, "Sure, how bad is it?"

"Alex needs some stitches as for Liv she's in theatre but she was awake in the ambulance." Came the swift reply.

"We'll be there in twenty minutes max."

"Text me your licence plate, I'll let patrol know you're on your way." Replied Elliott.

Giving her licence plate Casey ended the call. "Thanks El see you in a few ."

Hanging up Casey took a deep breath and headed for Jane's office, she wasn't sure how she was going to tell Jane about Liv. The relationship between Jane and Liv had continued to grow and despite both of them being shy of commitment they had been dating for two months without either wanting to end things. Knocking on the door she stepped in and gave Jane a small smile, "Jane, we need to go to the hospital. Elliott's just called me something happened at the court house Liv and Alex have been hurt."

"Is...how bad." Asked Jane collecting her purse and following Casey out of her office.

Before replying Casey told Maggie what was going on, "Elliott didn't say too much, just that Liv was in theatre but she was awake and talking in the ambulance." Replied Casey pulling in to traffic.

"That's good right?" Asked Jane frightened.

"Yes, that's very good." Replied Casey before falling silent and navigating the traffic her mind on Alex.

"What about Alex?" Asked Jane.

"Not sure, he didn't say." Replied Casey as the screeched into the hospital car park.

Reaching out Jane gave Casey's a reassuring squeeze there was no need for words as they headed inside. It wasn't hard to find where they needed to be an injured cop would always draw crowds of uniforms to the hospital. Spotting Elliott they headed over.

As soon as he saw them he gestured they should step outside. "Liv was shot it's a through and through the doctor thinks she will be okay. She is still in theatre but shod be out within the hour. Alex was caught by some shattering glass she's being patched up now, but Case I'm worried about her she hasn't said a word since it happened. It's almost as if she's catatonic, she didn't even flinch when the doctor was pulling the glass out of her face."

"Okay, where is she?" Replied Casey knowing the gunshots more than likely triggered a flash back as possibly a panic attack. Getting Alex's room number she made sure Jane was okay before heading to find the blonde. Stopping outside the room Alex was in she took a deep breath reminding herself Liv and Alex were okay before heading inside.

Seeing the doctor stitching Alex's face and the glassy expression on the blondes face she forced a smile to her face. "Hi, how are you doing?"

Without blinking Alex replied, "Fine. Is there any news on Liv?"

"It's a through and through the doctor thinks she will be out of theatre soon and will be fine." Replied Casey walking forward and taking Alex's hand in hers. "How are you?"

"I told you I'm fine." Snapped Alex.

Before Casey could reply the doctor spoke. "Okay Miss Cabot, we're all done. Keep the stitches dry and make sure to change the dressing everyday. If there is any extreme pain or inflammation them come straight back."

"Thank you. Can I go now." Asked Alex.

"I'll get your papers." Smiled the doctor as she left the room.  
"Do you want me to drive you home?" Asked Casey.

"No." Snapped Alex, before softening her voice, "Please Casey, I just want to be alone. I'll call you later. You should be with Jane."

"Alex I love you please don't push me away." Begged Casey as she watched the blonde stand to leave.

"I'm not, I just need some space."

Casey knew arguing wouldn't get her anywhere it would just anger the blonde so took a deep breath before replying. "Fine, just promise you will call me later?"

"Promise." Whispered Alex before pressing a lingering kiss to Casey's cheek and walking out of the cubical.

As Casey watched Alex walk away she felt her stomach twist with anxiety, pushing aside then temptation to follow her and force her to talk she turned and headed back to the surgical waiting room to find out what had happened and check on Liv hoping good news would help Alex.

-  
Arriving back at her apartment Alex poured a large glass if wine and ran a bath as hot as possible, quickly stripping off her clothes she stepped in to the scalding water without flinching as she stared blankly at the wall she let her tears fall. Her mind replaying the sound if gun shots and screams the days events mixing with her own shooting and the various nightmares she had suffered since the shooting. Succumbing to the heat Alex felt the blackness closing in as she slipped beneath the water.


	17. Chapter 17

Arriving back at the surgical waiting room she saw Jane and Elliott in a heated conversation, it was no secret to anyone, except maybe Liv that Elliott was in love with her so it was no surprise he wasn't a fan of Jane.

"It's nothing to do with you. I don't even know why Liv wanted you here." Shouted Elliott getting in the blondes face.

Not flinching from Elliott glare Jane replied. "Maybe because we've been seeing each other for over two months? Now what the hell happened?" Before demanding. "How did Liv end up getting shot."

Quickly stepping between them Casey placed a comforting hand on her friends arm."Jane calm down, ignore him." Turning to address Fin she asked, "What happened?"

"You do know she's going to finish with you any day now? Two months maybe three that's about her limit." Snarled Elliott.

Before Jane could respond Cragen stepped into the room. "Okay that's it, Stabler take a walk. That's an order." Interrupted Cragen. "Fin, fill them in on what happened then check in with Munch see how the interview with the surging shooter is going."

Once Cragen and Stabler had left Fin addressed the two lawyers. "We had just walked out of court, Alex had just won her case a gang-banger known as 'Side-Step' got twenty-five years for rape when his girl and some of her friends came up and started shooting. Liv knocked Alex to the ground and we started returning fire, we didn't realise there was more than one shooter at first, things were a little crazy. None of us realised Liv was hit until the shooting stopped and Alex started screaming, It was as if she couldn't move. I've never seen Cabot like that before."

"So you have the shooter?" Asked Jane.

"Two dead and one in custody." Replied Fin, before looking at Casey. "How's Cabot doing? The doc said she would probably need stitches."

"Yeah, three. I need to go." As Fin had been talking Casey felt her stomach contract in panic, she needed to get to Alex now. Making sure Jane was okay and not likely to kill Elliott and would call as soon as she had news she picked up her purse and quickly headed outside.

As soon as she was in the car park she dialled the blondes number getting her voicemail she left a message saying she was on her way over and started the car and pulled into the traffic. As she drove she tried Alex's number several more time, becoming more worried and frustrated as she each time there was no answer.

Pulling up outside the apartment building she grabbed her purse and dashed inside, stabbing the button for the elevator several times she decided it was taking too long and so headed for the stairs, kicking her heels off she picked them up and ran up the three flights of stairs quickly arriving at the blondes door. Knocking several time and getting no answer she used the key Alex had given her a few weeks before and let herself in.

The apartment was in darkness as she entered, calling out Alex's name she was greeted with nothing but silence, quickly making her way through the apartment checking each room she opened the bathroom door and gasped in panic as she saw the blondes still form slumped in the bathtub. Rushing over ignoring the heat of the water and her expensive suit she lifted the blonde out and carried her to the bed, gently laying her down she checked for a pulse relieved when she felt one. Lightly slapping Alex's face it took several attempts to get the blonde to open her eyes.

"Come on Alex. Open your eyes." Said Casey tapping the side of the blondes face again.

"Casey." Whispered Alex. "You're here. I'm not dreaming."

"I will always be here, Alex I love you. What were you thinking?" Replied Casey wrapping a now shivering Alex in the blanket from the bottom of the bed.

"I'm sorry." Whimpered Alex holding Casey shirt in a vice like grip.

"It's okay Al, I'm not going anywhere. Let it go." Whispered Casey holding the blonde right as sobs racked her body.

It took almost an hour to get Alex calmed down and dressed in warm pyjamas the stress of the day causing her to fall asleep still gripping Casey's shirt in her hand.

Waking up an hour later she asked, "Are you mad at me?"

"Not mad. Disappointed, you pushed me away. You could have drowned not to mention your stitches will need redoing." Replied Casey as she applied a small bandage to the cut on Alex's face.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to push you away or..." Started Alex looking down at her hands.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Yelled Casey. "You could have died! Did you even think about that or what it would do to me if I lost you?"

"I'm sorry." Whispered Alex still looking at her hands.

"You can't keep pushing me away! I love you Alex and I have promised you a hundred times that I will always be there for you no matter what. What more can I do?"

"Casey, I'm sorry I wasn't thinking. I was so afraid when I heard the gunshot all I could think about was when I was shot. Liv needed me and I couldn't move. I sat there screaming as my friend laid bleeding."

"Liv is going to be fine, Jane called me whilst you were asleep, Liv is awake and already bitching about going home." Replied Casey walking across and pulling Alex close. She knew her anger wasn't helping and she wasn't really angry at the blonde she was just afraid that she has almost lost her twice in one day.

"She needed me and all I could think about was myself." Whispered Alex as tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Alex it was a panic attack it's to be expected, maybe you should consider seeing a therapist? I mean after everything you've been through I'm surprised you don't have one on speed dial."

"I'm not crazy." Replied Alex anger colouring her tone.

"I know your not Al, but you've never stopped to process and deal with everything. You were shot and then before you could deal with that you were in witness protection and had to be someone else. You came back to testify and you were given a glimpse of your old life before you were whisked away again and had to become yet another person. You came back and tried to get your old life back and when that didn't work you ran away to the Congo."

Taking a breath she softened her voice and added, "Alex it's time to stop running and start dealing with it, the anger, the guilt and the fear, but Alex you're not alone anymore. I will be by your side the whole time."

"What if I can't?" Whispered Alex. "What if I can't deal with it? What if I never stop being afraid?"

"Alex, you are the most stubborn person I know of you set your mind to it you can get through anything. This is no exception."

"Okay, I'll talk to someone. I'm sorry I frightened you." Whispered Alex.

"It's okay, I'm sorry I got angry, I was just afraid. I love you Alex and I want to spend my life with you the thought of losing you frightens me more than I can say." Replied Casey pulling Alex even closer to her. "How about I make us something to eat and then we go to the hospital get your face re-stitches and check on Liv?"

"Okay, you won't leave me will you?" Asked Alex in a whisper.

"Never." Replied Casey.

After a light meal of pasta they headed back to the hospital as Casey she made sure to kept their hands joined as she told her about Elliott and Jane's confrontation. "What do you think?"

"I think Stabler has a thing for Liv and seeing her with someone else, especially someone who makes her happy and could be the real thing rubs him up the wrong way. I know Liv really likes Jane we were talking about it just before..."

"It's okay sweetie." Replied Casey giving we hand a loving squeeze before reluctantly letting go so she could park. "I'm sure once you've seen Liv you'll start to feel better and then tomorrow we can talk a bit more about seeing a therapist."

"Will you come with me?" Asked Alex in a small voice.

Casey waited until she was parked and had turned the engine off before replying, pulling the blonde into an awkward hug across the handbrake she replied, "I will come with you and be by your side every step. I love you Alexandra."

"I love you to Cassandra." Replied Alex with a real smile.

-/-/

As Jane sat next to Liv's bed and watched her sleep her mind wandered back to her conversation with Stabler earlier, she knew she was in love with Liv she hadn't told her yet but now, now she was afraid the detective didn't feel the same. Fin had told her that Liv had made them promise to tell Jane what was going on, but did that mean it was love.

She was startled from her thoughts by a quiet voice, "What's got you thinking so hard?"

"Hey, sleepy head. I just spoke to Casey she and Alex will be in to see you later." Smiled Jane.

"You know I know when I'm being lied to right?" Asked Liv wincing as she moved.

"I wasn't lying...just avoiding the question." Replied Jane with a smile. "They taught me that in law school."

"I thought being friends with lawyers was a pain, should have realised being in a relationship with one would be worse." Replied Liv with a small smile.

"In a relationship huh?" Replied Jane.

"If you still want me after all this." Replied Liv worried her getting shot would frighten Jane off.

"Of course I do, it's just you frightened me." Replied Jane loosing her nerve, now wasn't the time to have the 'where is this going conversation'.

"I'm sorry, I'll be okay and once I'm up and about maybe we can have a weekend away?" Suggested Liv.

"I'd really like that." Smiled the blonde pressing a kiss to the back of Liv's hand.

As Liv felt the medication working and her eyes getting heaven she mumbled. "Love you." Her eyes snapping open as her brain register what she had said. "I...you know what I do love you. I wish I had said it before today but it's still true."

"I love you Detective." Replied Jane standing and pressing a kiss to Liv's forehead. "Sleep now beautiful, I'll wake you when Casey and Alex arrive. "

"'Kay." Mumbled Liv already asleep.

Once she was sure Liv was asleep Jane slipped from the room to freshen up and get a coffee and sandwich, their was an uniformed officer outside Liv's door until they caught the person responsible. The rest of the squad had come in periodically to check on Liv and she hadn't seen Stabler since his Captain had told him to take a walk. Paying for her coffee and what had once been a BLT but now resembled a car crash of a sandwich she headed back to Liv's room.

An hour later the door to Liv's room opened to admit Casey and a very pale Alex standing she greeted them both with a warm hug, before addressing Alex, "Hey, how are you feeling?"

Smiling at the woman who had become a friend she replied, "Shaken and a little sore, but I had a good nurse. How's she doing?" Asked Alex indicating Liv with a tilt of her head.

"She loves me." Grinned Jane.

Smiling at her friend Casey replied, "It's about time you two admitted it."

They were startled by a soft voice. "I'm worth the wait." Said Liv.

"Hi." Smiled Casey. "I'm glad you're going to be okay."

"I'm not that easy to get rid of." Replied Liv. "Do you mind if I have a word with Alex alone."

"We'll go get some coffee." Said Jane.

Once Liv and Alex were alone there was a second of silence before Liv spoke, "How you doing? I mean really doing?"

"I'm fine...no that's a lie. Casey thinks I should see a therapist." Admitted Alex.

"I agree." Replied Liv. "Alex you have been through so much that having someone to talk it through with can only help and you have Casey to help you. Not to mention me and Jane."

"Liv, I should have helped you." Whispered Alex.

"And I should have saved you the first time you were shot at." Replied Liv. "I've never stopped blooming myself."

"Liv, it wasn't your fault and you did save me. Not just physically but the thought of our friendship was one of the only things that kept me going in witness protection. When I was homesick I would remember the time we went Ice skating or the say trip we took to Coney Island and that clown followed you around making love hearts out of balloons. You're my best friend."

"You're mine, I really kissed you when you were away. Don't run again."

"I won't and if I try I have you and Casey to talk some sense into me."

"Always." Whispered Liv, there was a minute if silence as both women got their emotions back under control.

"So you and Jane finally said the L word?" Smirked Alex.

Smiling at the mention of her lovers name Liv replied, "We did, I really think she could be the one."

"Good, you deserve to be happy. Although you might want to have a little chat with your partner he was a bit of a dick to her earlier by all accounts."

"And he lived?" Asked Liv with a small smile. "I'll talk to him, you know how protective he can be."

"Liv, he wasn't being protective. He's in love with you." Replied Alex rolling her eyes when she saw Liv was asleep.

-/-/-  
As Casey and Alex slumped down onto the mattress panting after several hours of love-making Casey drew Alex into her arms and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"You know with all that happened today I didn't get my 'Casey fact.'"  
"Okay, my fact of the day would be, I'm moving in with my girlfriend. " Grin

Leaning up so she could look down at Alex. "Really?"

"Yes, really." Replied Alex.

Grinning Casey pressed a soft kiss to Alex's lips, "We could live here, ah your place or find a place?"

"I like the idea of finding somewhere of our own." Replied Alex.

"Then that's what we'll do." Replied Casey with a yawn.

Pecking Casey on the lips Alex drew the cover over them, "Good night Casey."

"Night Al, love you."

"Love you too." Replied Alex as she drifted off to sleep safe in her girlfriends arms.

**A/N; Leave your thoughts. **


End file.
